Look Under the Surface

Reads: 399 | Likes: 0 | Shelves: 0 | Comments: 2

Just look under the surface

God, who is this person I've become
Where is that one everyone used to know
I've changed so much on the outside
But on the inside I'm still the same.
Yet they don't know that, they don't
Take the time to look below the surface.

Submitted: May 23, 2010

Poetry

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Charlotte Bog

Very beautiful. it takes my breath away. and everyone feels like that sometime :) and trust me someone will look below the surface :)

Sun, May 23rd, 2010 10:47am

Author
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Thanks, glad you got such emotion from it. yea its just kind of a thing everyone goes through in life. its great when you find that one, that takes the time to look below the surface :)

Sun, May 23rd, 2010 4:08am

SnowQueen

This is great by connecting to the audience. Like Charlotte Bog said, everyone feels like that sometimes, some more than others.

It starts off very personal in the first line, then it loses its flow. Some imagery would really make this memorable.

One tiny grammar mistake. Should be "that one everyone USED to know".

This was enjoyable. :) Keep writing.

-SnowQueen

Sun, May 23rd, 2010 5:00pm

Author
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Thanks, I'll have to go back an fix that. Maybe rewrite it and give it some more meaning.

Sun, May 23rd, 2010 10:40am