If Only You Knew (The Pain She Went Through)

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Other  |  House: Booksie Classic
This poem I wrote for one of my friends. She went through a lot with a guy and then after awhile, she committed suicide.

Submitted: August 27, 2012

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Submitted: August 27, 2012




"If only you knew," she said. "how much I love you."

Why did you take advantage of a beautiful girl? did you see that she was in love, with such a guy, like you.

She did everything she ever could to make you see, how much she needed you in her life.


When the time came, you had her wrapped around your arms, convincing her you'll never leave.

You promised her the world, told her not to be scared. 

You told her that she was your world, that there was nothing more you needed. Told her, her love is all you need. Nothing could break you guys apart.

Did you say it to make her stay? to make her happy? to play a game?

Did you see how much she loved you, with everything?

Tell me why. Why you promised all those things to make her stay, if you were leaving her, and making her die inside.


She gave you her heart, you gave her your lies. Told her to be happy, and that she deserves better.

She broke down, her body shut down. She couldn't do it on her own, she couldn't be happy without you.

She wanted you back, you told her she wasn't worth your time. You killed her multiple times inside, but she acted like nothing was wrong.

After awhile, she faked a smile. Told everyone she'd be fine, and that it took time. 

She smiled all the time, she seemed happy to everyone around, but secretly she was still dying, dying on the inside.


If only you knew (the pain she went through.) Can't you see, she's slowly dying on her own. 

She's taking the pain, killing herself without anyone seeing.

She promised she'll be fine, but who cares that she lied to you? You promised her you'll never leave, and that she'd be fine.


What if you stayed, kept your promises and never caused this pain? Do you think she'd be fine, or do you think she'd find out about your games.

Tell her she'd be alright, even though you know she'd break down. You've seen this a thousand times before, promised your love to a million other girls. Can't you see, one day your lies will be caught. Can't you see you've killed a million girls inside. Leaving them on their own, breaking down, living in their head full of broken dreams & broken promises..


If only you knew, if only you could she every little sign. The signs she's been showing.

The pain she went through killed her every day. Broke her down, made her drown in tears, drown in this life, she never wanted.

but who caused it? you broke her down, you're the reason why she died inside.


If only you saw the depression coming faster and faster every day. You could've saved her, could've fixed every crack in her heart.

You were too late.

She killed herself, she shoot herself in the head, and her dreams crashed all around.

She wrote your name on the bullet, so every one knew, you were the last thing on her mind

© Copyright 2018 Chris Rayner. All rights reserved.