Ticks are not insects

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Poetry  |  House: Booksie Classic
this is about something i consider very personal, my ticks, or twitches, which could be diagnosed as tourettes i suppose, i hide them everyday and it is hell to conceal. please leave comments :)

Submitted: July 15, 2011

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Submitted: July 15, 2011

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Ticks are not insects

ticks,
swarming around my face,
my eyes twitch,
 almost,
upwards,
never downwards.

agitation,
think of evisceration,
my jaw ticks too,
like a constant chewing,
eating my own anxiety.

my arm extends,
elbow cracks,
never clicks,
my arms are not lightswitches,
muscle tissue tears,
slightly,
making an ugly sound.

people say this is a sign,
sexual frustration,
overwhelming anxiety,
overwhelming?
I've been doing this my whole fucking life,
yet I am not whole.

ticks swarm around my body,
as I think of anything,
my eyes twitch,
rythmically,
like a drum machine,
involuntary,
I do not want to do this.

watch me squirm,
under my own hatred,
do I do this to myself?
I would do it to enyone else,
do i have tourettes?
i don't speak french,
or latin,
doctors don't speak english,
ive been doing this my whole life.

embarresment,
people see me tick,
look at me with patronising eyes,
not sympathy,
they feel sorry for the weak,
I'm too strong.

Ticks,
swarm inside me,
my teeth grind like gears,
in an un oiled machine,
producing muscle cramp,
as my abdomen ticks,
my stomach in pain.

Pain seems familiar,
like a waste product,
pain litters around me,
as I tick,
just like the insect,
or fly,
it swarms around me everyday,
I've been doing it my whole fucking life.


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