Tearing everyone's life apart

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Other  |  House: Booksie Classic
Suicide, people think about it, people attempt, and people succeed. Yet, do you realize how it effects the ones around them. Stop & think.

Submitted: January 07, 2014

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Submitted: January 07, 2014

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You won't be missed, you tell yourself. No one cares, the voices in your head whisper. Why are you still here? Your mind makes you question yourself. You think and think until you realize you really won't be missed. No one likes you , so no one would care. You've been here for seventeen years and nothing has changed for you.

Maybe you'll hang yourself, nah that's too easy. You always were the one to try challenging things. Yet, taking pills or shooting yourself would be easy too. Maybe jumping in front of a car. Yet, that may not even kill you, might just land you a trip in the ER. You think and think of a creative way to end your own life. You scan your fingers over your beautiful arms full of nothing but scars. Memories of why you 're making the decision you have been dreaming of. You starte in your mirror wondering why God made you who you are. Why would he make such an ugly creation? Why would he make life such hell for someone who is so weak? Did he think you were actually strong? Maybe you were, but it got to the point of trying to be strong failed.

You always got bullied at school, maybe thats the reason you thought no one liked you. You never had any friends since elementary when everyone else became so judgmental and if you weren't cool then you weren't considered a friend. You were considered a reject, a loser, a nobody. The list goes on and on. You never understand why they picked you to bully, why they hurt you out of everyone. Yet, you would rather have them hurt you then anyone else. That was your kind side showing. You accepted the fact you were a reject, a loser, a nobody. Nobody liked you. Why bother even showing up to school, nothing happens but you being called names and pushed into lockers while others watch and laugh at your pain. At home isn't better. Your parents fight nonstop, and usually the fight are about you. How your grades are getting lower, yet they think it's because you're on drugs. That makes sense that must be why you're sad all the time they say. Yet, if you were on drugs, they would be pills so you could have overdose and ended your misery earlier. No one understandds you. You stay up listenign to your parents fights which always end up revolving around you in the end. About your grades or if you're even your father's kid. Sometimes they fight about how you're not good enough, how they want you to be better. You listen and cry silently. Finally you had enough. You got up and started to write you suicide note. It went a little like this:

Dear anyone who cares (which is no one),

I have come to realize my life not only means nothing to all of you, but it also means nothing to me. I came in this world and I will be leaving. It's my own choice, none of you can stop me, which none of you would anyway. I accept the fact not even my own parents want me. They think i'm a disappointment, and well I hope they realize I won't be their disappointment anymore. Nobody at school will have to think of clever ways to hurt me. They will no longer have that one person they love to abuse mentally, physically, and emotionally.

So here I am to say goodbye to those who don't even care about me. Who will probably be glad i'm gone or won't even notice i'm gone. No one will feeel guilty or sorry, and i'm not looking for a guilty plea, i'm just i'm jsut done. Done with all the pain, i'm not strong, i'm weak and I don't know why God would put me through so much.

Good bye mom, good bye dad, good bye little brother, good bye piers. Don't miss me too much. Who am I kidding? You all won't miss me any. Love,

Me.

You walk over to your bed, grabbing the knife from under your pillow. You want to show how much pain you have been in. You stab yourself in the eye. Letting out a quiet screech of pain. The stab was not enough to kill you, you knew it wouldn't be. You wanted to tortue yourself a bit before actually dying. Everyone tortured you, why not for once torture yourself? You know it will be the last time you're tortured anyway. You take the knife and make a small mark onto your stomach. Blood gushes out and you stare at it for a minute, you start feeling weak. You know it's all working. Then you cut your middle fingers off and you're barely aware of what you're doing to yourself. Some sick side of yourself is taking over. It's like your trying to act like your attackers. You're not yourself. You wouldn't do this to yourself. You would want to die fast and easy, you thought you wanted to do something different, when really dying fast and easy would be the best. Now you're too busy mutilating your own body. You then stab a deep wound into your side where your kidney would be. That's it. Everything went black and you were gone.

Your parents finally come op to your room, wondering about the sounds they heard. You never locked your door so they just easily walked in upon your dead, sickening, mutilated body. Your mom starts gagging as your dad actually pukes running over to you. They start crying and holding you. Your blood starts to soak their clothing. Yet they don't care, they just care their little baby is there dead, lifeless, cold. You didn't suspect them to care, yet they did. It was shocking to see how much pain you death casued them. Your little brother walks in wondering why your parents are crying. He stares at your body and starts crying. He still has nightmares from all the blood, and the organs he seen from inside you, and how youl ook with only one eye and the other bloody. He goes into depression himself. It ends up driving him insane so your parents have to put him into an insane asylum, so he doesn't end uup harming himself. They didn't want to lose another child.

When your death came upon the announcements for all your piers to hear, some laughed about it. You knew it, they wouldn't care. Yet, some actually blamed theirselves more than others. That terrified them to the point some actually took their own lifes. Not as extreme as you did, either they hung theirselves, or popped some pills. Either way, they were dead just like you. Some of the kids had to go see a therapist and talk about what they did to you. Some actally did care, but mostly more about their own well being. You knew they wouldn't care.

The day of your funeral arrived. It was supposed to be a closed casket. Somebody messed up, and the casket was open. Everyone that came seen yoru mutilated body. They all seen what you did to yourself. It disgusted many and made mandy people get sick right there at your funeral. Your mother finally got up the strength to walk up to your casket, and close it for good.

As they lowered your casket six feet under there were sad mumbles about how you will be missed and never forgotten. You thought no one would care, that no one would remember or even miss you. Your brother even showed up to see them lower your casket. He threw something in the ground to be buried with you. What was it? It was the knife you harmed yourself with and eventually killed yourself with. All this time your brother kept the knife just to give it back to you in the end. As a sign he was pretty much saying to keep hurting yourself wherever you go in the afterlife. Your brother hated you for leaving him. He hated you for ruining his childhood and getting him put into the asylum. He watned you dead, and he's glad you are. You were no longer his sibling, just some jerk who got him put in the looney bin.

He smiled as the dirt was being thrown on your cakset. Your mother and father looked at him in disgust, but that didn't stop his grin from growing wider and wider the more the dirt was thrown on.

Thwas was it. You're no longer alive, your family is torn apart, and people at school will never be the same. All because of one decision you made. Everyone that hears of that little town will hear your story with it. You were never popular alive, no one cared about you when you were alive, you were a nobody when you were alive. Now that you're dead it's different. You were so innocent they protested. Such a precious life took too soon others would say. You became popular, and well known around the world. Soon everyone cared when you were dead. Too bad you had to die for all of it to happen.


© Copyright 2020 chrissyisthename. All rights reserved.

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