1. Did you hear about the blind man that went bungee jumping? He loved it, but scared the hell out of his dog!
2. The best way to get over a girl is to get under a new one!
3. Why do men love a woman in leather? Because she smells like a new car.
4. What's the mating call for a blonde? "Next!"
5. Why do 18-year olds take sex-ed courses? So they can learn what they've been doing wrong for the past five years.
6. What do married sex and a 7-eleven store have in common? Neither is anything to get excited about, but what else is open at three in the morning?
7. "I am" is one of the shortest sentences in the English language. "I do" is the longest.
8. The economy is so bad...I got into a cab in New York City the other day; the driver spoke English.
9. There was a man who wanted to get something for his wife, but no one would start the bidding.
10. What's the difference between the government and the Mafia? One of them is organized.
11. According to a recent survey, it asked 1,000 American blondes if they would ever sleep with Tiger Woods? 89% of them said, 'Never again.'
12. The trouble with political jokes is that they sometimes get elected.
13. A small boy wrote to Santa Clause, "Send me a brother." Santa wrote back, "Send me your mother."
14. Why do women pay more attention to their appearance than to improving their mind? Because most men are stupid, but few are blind.
15. "I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world," a man said to his wife one night. "Oh," she replied, "I'll miss you."
16. What has four arms and four legs and never works out? Marriage.
17. A kid walks up to his father and asks, "Dad, where do babies come from?" The father says, "They come from the stork."
"Oh," the boy replies, "who screwed the stork?"
18. Your momma is so fat...when she fell down the Grand Canyon...she got stuck in it!
19. Your momma is so fat...when she walks into a movie theater she asks, "Is this ROLL taken?"
20. It was so hot today, I was sweating like Whitney Houston taking a drug test!"
21. It was so hot today, Bill Clinton had to sleep with Hillary just to stay cool.
22. What is the congressional record? Four pages.
23. Why won't cannibals eat divorced women? They're always bitter.
24. What's the worst thing you can say to a man who complains that his wife is frigid? "No, she isn't!"
25. How is having unprotected sex like having a 401(k)? You have to know when to pull out.
Hope you got a good laugh!
© Copyright 2016 Christian Taylor. All rights reserved.
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