Love Don't Live Here

Reads: 314  | Likes: 0  | Shelves: 0  | Comments: 0

  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Reddit
  • Pinterest
  • Invite

More Details
Status: Finished  |  Genre: Literary Fiction  |  House: Booksie Classic
A young girl's world is torn apart by her mother's boyfriend and it leads her to a life of pain. Rochelle keeps it all inside and it soon gets the best of her.

Submitted: October 15, 2011

A A A | A A A

Submitted: October 15, 2011

A A A

A A A


It was around midnight when my mother’s new boyfriend snuck into my room. I lay there with my eyes closed tightly pretending to be sleep. He stroked my long hair and whispered my name but I didn’t respond. A single tear rolled down my cheek when I heard him unzip his pants and start kissing me roughly. “No stop” I said almost in a whisper but he didn’t listen. 10 minutes seemed like hours and when he was done I laid there crying and balled up like a baby. I was hurting and bleeding but I was scared to leave my room. I cried myself to sleep and was awakened by the sting of a belt. “Rochelle you done got blood all over your new sheets! Go get in the shower with your nasty ass! You should’ve told me you started your period!” I ran to the bathroom crying and passed by Walt my mom’s boyfriend who thought the whole scene was funny. I scrubbed my skin trying to wash away how dirty I felt but I couldn’t get clean enough. My light skin complexion was now redder than a tomato. When I got to my room there were new sheets on my bed and some pads. I got dressed quickly, put on a pad and got downstairs just in time for my school bus. Everyone on the bus was loud and rowdy but their voices seemed to be off in a distance. It felt like I was stuck outside myself watching myself die on the inside.

By the time I reached the 11th grade I was labeled the hoe of the school. I slept around but only with a few guys that later drug my name through the dirt. I had sex to fill a void, emptiness in myself. Some would even say in search of love but I didn’t believe in love. That didn’t stop me from searching for it and wanting to feel it though. My mom constantly had a new man coming in and out the house so I would stay over my home girl Tasha house all the time. Her mom loved me and I practically lived there. My soul felt at ease there and I felt safe, almost like I had a real family. Like every good feeling in my life that was taken away from me too. Tasha and I were walking to school together when a guy ran past us with some money in his hand. The screeching of tires made us jump and before we knew it we were running too hand in hand. We didn’t know why but in our neighborhood it was like second nature. Gunshots rang in my ear and suddenly Tasha’s hand broke from mine. I turned around to see what was going on just as she was hitting the ground. Blood slowly started creeping from her back and I started to cry hysterically. “Tash, hang in there girl, I’m here. You’re gonna make it and we’re gonna go get ice cream sundaes from your favorite ice cream spot. I was talking to her but was more trying to convince myself. Sirens rang off in the distance as I watched life leave my best friend’s eyes.

I didn’t eat for days; all I did was cry and sleep. I locked myself in my room and quit going to school. My mom was so involved with her men she didn’t even notice. The one person I lived for was gone and there was nothing I could do about it. It was as if I was never meant to be happy and I couldn’t go on anymore. I had my mind made up I had to leave this hell on earth I was living. I ran a hot bath and got in clothes and all, I didn’t care at that point. I took apart my razor and with two quick swipes I slit my wrists. Crying from the pain in my heart and from my wrists I sank in the tub until the water was at my chin. I was slowly starting to fade away but was snatched up quickly by unfamiliar hands. Water had started running over and under the bathroom door and when my mom came to see what was going on she called 911. I was rushed to the hospital and had lost a lot of blood. I awoke in the hospital confused but that quickly changed to disappointment and I broke down. Why couldn’t they just let me be I didn’t want to be here anymore. I was in the hospital for a few days and was released; a psychiatrist was highly recommended. I refused to go; no way was I talking to a complete stranger about my problems. Soon I turned to using coke; it took me to a place far away from all my hurt. Since I nobody cared where I was I hung with the drug dealers and partied every night. To support my habit I started stripping at Club Erotic and the pay wasn’t bad. I went from just dancing to going in the back rooms with random guys that offered a nice amount of money. I stayed high so nothing bothered me anymore, I was dead on the inside and there was no coming back.

I started feeling really tired and sick all the time so I made an appointment after brushing it off as it being the effects from the coke. My fear was pregnancy because I was too high to make all the guys I’d been with strap up. They took blood and I was relieved that my pregnancy test was negative. They told me they’d run tests and call me back in a few days so I went back to my regular life. Nothing could prepare me for the news I received just a couple days later. “Ms. Washington this is doctor Lewis from the clinic, we received your test results and you tested positive for HIV” I heard nothing else after that sentence. The walls closed in on me and I dropped the phone. This couldn’t be right, how could this happen to me? Before I knew what was happening I had walked over to the hotel balcony and jumped……

I stood there staring at my body lay lifeless on top of a car. I heard screams as others came to see what all the noise was. I took one last look and I walked off and vanished. A life lesson I could have even learned from myself is don’t let somebody else determine the life you lead. Be strong and fight back, stand up and be heard. Never sell yourself short…


© Copyright 2020 Christina_Monique. All rights reserved.

  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Reddit
  • Pinterest
  • Invite

Add Your Comments:

More Literary Fiction Short Stories