This is how I feel about my addiction to the drug, Cathinone; my sweet temptress always ready to take me away to another place before leaving me over and over again.

Sitting in this room, surrounded by my unspent potential

My only love, my chemical love, right here beside me

She spreads out her love on the plate, thin white lines of kisses


She lets me take her, promising me more of this emotional ecstasy

The rush of her passion washing over me, I want more, I need more

I finally feel again, my emotions are sharp, ready to devour life


Manic, I run between the fleeting fantasies

Getting as much pleasure and sweet pain as I can handle

Knowing that it will soon end and she will leave me


She’s gone; her signature, a lonely plate and the crumbs of broken promises

Bitch! Why now, how can you leave me after you’ve taken so much

I can’t live without you, I need you, I want all of you, let me bathe in your sweetness


My mind and pulse race each other through my conscience

Death, please take me, I’m begging you, I want to explode, let me feel

Screaming, writhing, furiously berating myself for my weakness


Smiling, she walks in looking more beautiful than the last time

She jumps on me and offers herself willingly, demands that I take her

I take a deep breath and prepare myself for the ride; from heaven to hell  

Submitted: December 10, 2015

© Copyright 2023 Christopher Kush. All rights reserved.

Add Your Comments:



Interesting. I like how you describe the feeling of anger and loss. It is very well written. I especially like the last sentence 'I take a deep breath and prepare my self for the ride; from heaven to hell'.

Regards, Hotaru

Thu, December 10th, 2015 10:34am

J. W. Cooper

Hello there Chris, I hope that you are okay and in good spirits my friend? My apologies that I've been delayed in looking at your work. I wanted to make sure that I stuck to my promise and had a look at your pieces. Wow!! Such a powerful and emotive piece you've written here Chris! Your words are so elegantly mixed together, to create a poem of such emotion and excitement and sorrow. I really like how you start the poem off in the first stanza by saying 'My only love, the chemical love, right here besides me. She spreads out her love on the plate, thin white lines of kisses.' Not only in this part, but throughout the poem, you do such an amazing job of personifying 'Cathinone,' and making it seem as though it has human-like qualities. It conveys this intimate and close relationship that you have with 'Cathinone' and how 'it' seems to caress your every sense and the whole of your being if that makes sense? It's a little hard to describe, but there just seems to be this loving connection that both you and 'Cathinone' have with each other. Your descriptions are so wonderfully sensual and it seems that 'Cathinone' is both your heaven and your hell in a way. 'She' is your heaven for the ecstasy that she puts you through and yet, she is your hell when 'she' leaves you and when her effects are no more. As I read on, I see a rush of such passion and emotion! 'She lets me take her, promising me more of this emotional ecstasy.' I love 'emotional ecstasy' it just flows so elegantly and in those two words, there's so much imagery and so much meaning behind them! They say that 'a picture paints a thousand words' and in this case, these words create so many different feelings and emotions. When you go on to say 'The rush of her passion, I want more, I need more.' 'She' seems to really have a strong effect on you and the 'rush of 'her' passion' strongly conveys this. It's like she makes you feel alive and so free, that without her, life just wouldn't be the same. 'Getting as much pleasure and sweet pain as I can handle,' again shows this idea that 'Cathonine' is both an angel and a devil... 'She' gives you pleasure and yet, 'she' also gives you pain. I really liked the part where you wrote 'She's gone; her signature, a lonely plate and the crumbs of broken promises. How can you leave me after you've taken so much?' Wow! What a sentence my friend! The way you write this sentence, conveys a feeling of sadness that you experience when 'Cathonine' eventually leaves you and the feeling of such euphoria has vanished. I particularly like how you describe 'Her signature as being a lonely plate and crumbs of broken promises.' This idea might seem a little far-fetched, but I'm picking up on the point of this concept of 'her' signature. We all do our signatures frequently, whether it be on a business form or a card to a loved one, and the idea that came to my mind was that 'she' does this regularly... She takes you to such euphoric heights and then, she leaves you to pick up the pieces. Then, 'she' comes back and takes you on that journey of pure ecstasy once again and then leaves you and the cycle just continues again and again and again. I loved 'I can't live without you, I need you, I want you, let me bathe in your sweetness.' Again, this shows your desire to have 'her' and to be in that constant bubble of ecstasy that she graces you with. I thought that 'Let me bathe in your sweetness' was a great sentence! So effective and putting across the idea that everything about 'Cathonine' is wondrous and exciting and enthralling. One other part of your poem which I really liked was the part which read 'My mind and pulse race each other through my conscience.' It gives this feeling that again 'Cathonine' brings on so many things and feelings and emotions! It conveys the sense that sometimes things can become a little dark maybe, that 'her' power can sometimes take you to not so nice places. I absolutely loved the ending of your poem my friend, I thought it was a great way to end such a descriptive and well though-out poem! 'Smiling, she walks in looking more beautiful than the last time. She jumps on me and offers herself willingly, demands that I take her.' Again, it comes back to this idea of personification, giving 'Cathonine' a sense that she is actually human and that her actions and the feelings that she brings about are human-related. You do a brilliant job of giving 'Cathonine' human-like features and it really helps to make this poem so effective and so emotive and so interesting to read. You haven't just described 'Cathonine' as a mere 'drug,' but you've given it human qualities which enables us to see 'her' as more of a human and the experience that 'she' takes you through, rather than what the 'drug' takes you through if that makes sense? 'I take a deep breath and prepare myself for the ride; from heaven to hell.' Brilliant! Such a powerful ending Chris. I like the fact that 'she's' taking you on this euphoric journey once again of good and bad. 'She' has returned once again to satisfy your desire for that ecstasy you long for from 'her.' Such a great poem Chris, you've done a really good job in writing this and you should be proud of your efforts. This piece really gave me a bit of an insight into your life and what the poem was really all about, so thank you very much. And thank you for sharing this with us all. Great work my friend, please do keep it up! Take great care and have a wonderful day my friend! :)

Thu, December 17th, 2015 8:51pm


I cannot thank you enough for this comment. I am actually staggered by the thought and effort you put into it. You have a deep understanding of what this poem means to me and how this substance affects me in multitude of ways. I will most definitely be reading some more of your work over the holidays when I have some more time. Thanks again James, I really appreciate your perspective and continued support. :)

Thu, December 17th, 2015 10:45pm

J. W. Cooper

You're very welcome my friend. This piece was truly phenomenal! You've obviously put a lot of time and effort into this and it clearly shows. All the emotions and feelings you feel, are s elegantly and cleverly conveyed throughout and I'm just glad that I came across this poem of yours. You have great talent Chris! I thought that it deserved attention, seeing as it was written so well and the fact that you'd put your heart and soul into it. As always, it's a pleasure my friend! Take great care and hope to speak to you soon. :)

Fri, December 18th, 2015 5:40pm

Act Da Fool

Very powerful stuff.

Mon, January 18th, 2016 4:29pm


Thanks for the comment, I appreciate it. Yeah it's a crazy feeling. I never get over over raw it can be.

Mon, January 18th, 2016 8:41am

Fantasy lady

The way you describe your wild passion for her is amazing. Iam getting so addicted to your poems that I am reading all ur pieces in a single day :-)

Tue, April 19th, 2016 12:19am

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