Reflections and self-analysis. Post-rationalizing behavior. Confessions of a sociopath.

What's wrong, can you see right through me
Thats right i'm a spectre; ghost of my former self
An empty vessel, a skinless form is all you see
Like a book with no cover, laying unread on the shelf

My vices have stripped me, laid my flaws to bear
Wrenched away my soul and left this faded face
I wish I gave enough of a fuck, I don't care
My taboo habits; heartbeats at a quickening pace

These melodies and blank pages keep me company
Furious lyrics, angry guitars, double drums
They sit with me as I pen my own eulogy
The plate beside me, two cards and white crumbs

Another day, another broken promise, another line
Rolled up notes, ready to take away my childish dreams
Feeling this familiar feeling roll up my spine
Teasing my senses, energy bursting out like sunbeams

The most alive I feel is when I feel like letting go
I wish I could find happiness in simple things
But the inner me wants risk, insanity, I can't do slow
I need danger, I'll keep pushing till my death bell rings

Submitted: January 09, 2016

© Copyright 2023 Christopher Kush. All rights reserved.

Add Your Comments:


Keke Serene

Review on These Empty Eyes as I read...

I love the title of this. But then again I'm slightly biased becuase I have an obsession with eyes...but I still like it regardless of obsession. :)
The first stanza is certainly interesting. Those first few lines though, "What's wrong, can you see right through me," reminds me of a time when I was at a hospital volunteering and the way this lady looked at me made me check myself once, becuase it literally felt like she was looking though me, like reading all through me...
I've taken this stanza from about two different POVS, a dead person, literally a ghost, or someone who feels empty, and sees that emptiness inside themselves... "A skinless form is all you see" is really how id feel sometimes if you peeled off all my skin. There'd be nothing underneath! Even though I know there's stuff there, muscles and organs, the feeling of absence is quite uncomfortable. I like the idea of a book with no cover, very clever.
"Faded face." Thats a very telling description. For some reason I think of a faded face as having been sanded away. So there's only a skin toned flat thing for your face. Does that make any sense?
"My vices have stripped me ,...face."
That's probably my favorite line so far, becuase bad habits can really tear you apart, they can make you someone you're not, evident when you said "wrenched away the soul." Wrenched is a nice word, I'd like to think it was a struggle to give up ones soul. A sad line indeed.
"Two cards and white crumbs" what does that mean? Don't tell me! It will come to me one day, I think... Hopefully.
"Feeling this familiar feeling" is that feeling anger or failure? Anger is an emotion I hate. A lot. It certainly teases my senses, I don't know about you or anyone else, but like I can go days on end feeling empty, numb, absolutely nothing, and then I get angry over something stupid. It makes no sense to me... I hate anger.
Feeling most alive when you feel like giving up is a hard time indeed. I remember days like that with clarity. It takes a lot, a ton of courage to get past that stage, but it most certainly be done, taking pleasure in the simple things.
The inner me is an interesting line, is that like the true you? It's hard to find the true you. The true you usually whispers and doesn't appear to fight much. At least not my inner self. What inner self is this?
I feel like there were a lot of emotions expressed here so well done! I like this! :)

Mon, January 11th, 2016 8:02pm


Thanks for the very in-depth critique, I appreciate the time you took to write this. I'll send you a message about that cards and crumbs line... The inner me is the true me, I'm building his voice up again so he can shout when the mask tries to come back on again. I try and inject as much honesty and raw emotion into what I write, I think it helps me confront my fears and hopes without glossing over things for the sake of convenience. Again thank you for reading this, looking forward to delving into some more of your work soon. :)

Mon, January 11th, 2016 12:10pm

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