Dearest Dad

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Poetry  |  House: Booksie Classic
When you just want to clear your head sometimes a letter is all that is needed even if you never mail it!

Submitted: June 22, 2015

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Submitted: June 22, 2015

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Dear Dad, since you don’t even care

 

Thank you for not really being there

 

Thank you for not pretending

 

And not showing fake feelings

 

Cause even tho dealing with it has caused me a lot of grief

 

I have now found an inner peace

 

That came about when I discovered you weren’t worth any of my tears

 

And that I alone can conquer all of my fears

 

So many days I wondered why I wasn’t good enough for you to love

 

And I searched thru many men hoping to discover what love really was

 

Looking in the wrong places

 

And being misled by lying faces

 

Caused me to feel lower that dirt

 

Took many years to find my worth

 

Just realized I’m not filthy, unworthy or dirty

 

I’m scarred, but no longer bitter, and maybe just a little bit thirsty

 

Thirsty as in curious to know why you are the way that you are

 

And how could your conscious even let you make it this far

 

Knowing you hurt all of those who you GOD gave you

 

If you were on fire I wonder would I save you

 

But I know I would

 

I would never want to be any of you at all if I could

 

You weren’t even changed a little by death

 

How do you live with yourself?

 

You talk about us all like you did all you could

 

Knowing that’s a lie but you took care of your lovers and their children really good

 

I have no respect for you

 

There’s nothing left to say or do

 

I have tried my best to forgive

 

But I realize you will be the way you are as long as you live

 

I’ve prayed to GOD to remove all of this hate

 

But unfortunately I’m stubborn like you so I’ll just deal with my own fate

 

I don’t like the person you are and I know I’m wrong

 

But if I admit it still hurts then I would no longer be strong

 

And I will never be weak for you again

 

And my heart can never let you back in

 

You stomped on it so many times

 

To love you again I’d be out my mind

 

Wish I hadn’t spent all of these years believing

 

You’d be who I wanted you to be and grieving

 

One day GOD will allow you to see what you’ve done

 

Maybe it won’t be until you are lying in a dark place unable to see the sun

 

I hope and pray I don’t meet you there

 

That wouldn’t be even be fair

 

Cause even tho you made my heart turn cold

 

I can’t live this way until I’m too old

 

Too old to change and too late to try to care

 

But that’s a burden you will someday bear


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