You tell me that my attitude has changed. I agree. You don’t understand why? Of course you don’t because you don’t understand that you caused my attitude to change. My emotions are like turning on a faucet of running water- they can be hot or they can be cold. The difference is that my emotions aren’t lukewarm because lukewarm feelings are fake feelings. My feelings are real and I will not allow you to manipulate them to however you see fit. You can’t change my feelings, but yet YOU CHANGED ME. There is no denying that things have changed. Things have become awkward between us. You still don’t understand why? How could we go from sharing laughs and good times to barely finding words to say to one another and feeling like the things that we once laughed at so easily are no longer funny? You can’t even see that you caused things to become awkward. When you decided to crown yourself and treat my feelings like a game of checkers, YOU CHANGED ME. You say you want to fix things. I appreciate you for wanting to try but it’s a little too late. You see sometimes when things become awkward it’s almost impossible to get back to normal. Sometimes trying just makes things worse and I KNOW we were headed for worse. Sometimes things don’t fit and that’s the reason that they become awkward. Your actions have shown me that we were never meant to fit. My emotions will never fit with lying, deceit, distrust, and disloyalty. Maybe the person who I think that you are now is not even really who you are. Maybe you really are the person who I thought I knew but I will never know now. I will never know because YOU CHANGED ME. I am sorry that things didn’t work out between you and her. Yes, I still have compassion for you but that is the only thing that I feel. I no longer feel excited to hear the sound of your voice. I no longer miss your smell or the comfort of your embrace. My trust has been irretrievably broken so my heart has filed for a divorce. I cannot knowingly be anyone’s substitute or replacement and that will never change. YOU CHANGED ME by showing me that you are unworthy of ME. Helping me to realize that I deserve better is how YOU CHANGED ME.
© Copyright 2016 Cindy Dancy. All rights reserved.
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