The fool with a heart.

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Romance  |  House: Booksie Classic
I was very hurt when I wrote this. I hadnt really been able to express myself truly.

Submitted: January 27, 2012

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Submitted: January 27, 2012

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She would hear the words that would change her forever. She had fallen in love with a married man, and someone who lived halfway around the world for that matter. She had told him many things she wouldn’t have normally opened up about. Her hearts barriers smashed down with his words to her. She was in a long term relationship herself. She hadn’t done anything to cheat him, but her feelings for the married man remained, she yearned to speak to him.

 

She knew it was doomed before it began, she was happy with who she was and her mind would race trying to figure out what it meant. She would have sleepless nights and hard tiring days, her mind working over time to try to stop loving this man. She didn’t even understand what was so alluring about him, or how he made her feel so safe even though he was thousands of miles away. How could a man do this to her?

 

She would remember sitting and watching the computer screen, seeing the words that would change her for life, so young, so naïve. “We must stop whatever this is we are doing” she would read it over and over again, trying to formulate something to say to him. “I still want to be friends” she would feel her heart break. Tears running down her cheeks she would act as if she agreed with him. She did see it coming, that wasn’t a lie, she knew it had to stop, but she felt uncomfortable now, she felt like she had to rewrite everything she said.

 

Her heart broke slowly; she sat in the bottom off the shower in the dark, letting her tears wash away under the streaming water. Her long hair flowing over her, her whole body curled up and shaking from anger and hurt, she would scream loudly, her boyfriend rushing in to check she was okay. She would look to him and just mumble she was in a bad mood and mad at her friend. He would sit down in the bathroom, she could hear his voice telling her it would be ok, she would close her eyes and let more tears stream out of her eyes.

 

She would let the water run cold over her body and her boyfriend would get up and turn the shower off, a towel being wrapped around her. She would look up, tears still pouring down her face, he would smile and just say “I know he meant a lot to you, but he doesn’t deserve your friendship if he makes you get this upset” she would look into his eyes and her heart would break even more, hysteria taking over her body.

 

He would help her up and lay her on the bed, curling up with her, holding her close. She would continue to cry harder than she had in a long time. She knew that it was stupid and she was foolish. She was the fool in love with a married man. She would lay silently for a long time, cussing at herself in her mind. She would fall asleep a laying in her boyfriends arms and when she woke she would mop around the house. Finally when she got online she would be ready to abuse him, ready to yell, but instead she would melt and feel like a child.

 

She would get off later, and having been stiff talking to him, she knew it was finally over, he would never be the same with her, nor she with him. How the hell could she have let this happen? She would sit there typing her fingers moving fast and her mind racing, she wanted her friend back. But how could she just let the barriers down again?


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