Minerva McGonagall: Life After Rowling

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Fantasy  |  House: Booksie Classic
Basically, it's a lead-off from J.K. Rowling's Harry Potter Series but it's in Minerva McGonagall's point of view. And did I forget to mention that Dolores Umbridge, sworn enemy of McGonagall, took control over the series and fired McGonagall? Well, Minerva is looking for a job, currently. What will the past transfiguration teacher have in store for you? Is she a fortune-teller? Maid? Ha! Read on to find out!

Submitted: November 13, 2008

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Submitted: November 13, 2008

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A A A


Minerva McGonagall

Chapter 1
 

I could not believe I had stooped so low as to threaten my resignation and actually get fired for threatening the very idea. Imagine that. So, here I am, confound it! Here I am, suitcase in hand, outdated business cards in my pocket, going to the O.C.F.T.I., or, Occupational Center For The Insane. Of course, this really was just an expression, because who would have thought me insane?! Now, that was poppycock – I was not insane, at least, not in the sense you would think. The sense of insane that you would probably have accommodated to was, unfortunately, the route my great-great-great-grandmother had taken, which eventually had lead her to the cell with those ridiculous sponged walls and with the embarrassing escort of a straitjacket.

Now, back to my problems. First of all, I am undoubtedly fired from being Professor McGonagall at the school of Hogwarts Witchcraft and Wizardry. Second of all, everyone thinks I am a lunatic for even threatening to leave my position in the first place –which was, essentially, because of poor Albus’s death. I had lived successfully long enough without him, to be named a dependent woman; the fact of the matter was, I just could not bear being at Hogwarts any longer than that one year without the headmaster’s beseeching presence. Third of all, people still think I am a lunatic, even though I myself did not get the chance to leave of my own accord (I should have left immediately even if I was tired but no, I ended up hiring the sluggish Filch to pack my suitcase), because Umbridge beat me to the job.  

Dolores Umbridge. Oh yes. She fired me – for what reason one might ask? She stuffed her godforsaken nose into my already humiliated face and croaked, ‘I really, ahem, we all really feel at the ministry that your service here, ahem, at Hogwarts is not needed. We all do miss Dumbledore – but, ahem, children are children after all! They feel very sad for a little bit then the grief just flitters away like a butterfly after enough time!’ Then she titters like a bird for, Merlin knows how long, and- ouch.

 “Oh! I am so sorry, Minerva! So very sorry! If you will excuse me!” the woman who was none other than Sybill Trelawney looked apologetically at me, her eyes wide with pity.

“Well that is quite all right, Sybill. Please watch where your feet and your visions take you – being elbowed in the stomach really is not as glamorous as it may seem. You, however, make think differently, Sybill!” I retorted sulkily.

As usual, my words seemed not to affect her the way I would have thought they might, for she just hugged me wordlessly, smiled that crooked smile of hers, and walked, or rather, dashed away into the crowd, waving behind her. I shook my head, half smiling to myself – boy, Sybill sure knows how to stuff your own wand into your mouth.

 
~~~~~~~~~~

“NEXT!” a voice sounded behind a mahogany desk. I walked hurriedly towards the desk, and the man behind it smiled genially at me. “Hello! I presume you have brought your cards?” He waited while my hand dug out the business cards from within the innards of my pocket. Two of my fingers slipped through a wondrous hole at the bottom of it – alright, not that pocket. I reached for my other pocket, turning one revolution before actually being able to reach it, and finally caught the business cards. I laid them down on the desk – the man choked. Who wouldn’t? By now, almost everyone would have heard of me and my ‘insane mind’! Why, I would walk past people in the streets and I would overhear:

“Oh! There goes Minerva!”

“She has really lost it this time!”

“Tut tut, Minerva!”

“Err… Ma’am? Ma’am? We must get through this because as you can see, there is quite a line ahead here.” He gestured weakly towards the grumbling line behind me.

“Oh! Excuse me!” I huffed at him. Merlin’s beard, you would think even some customers would be treated a bit more nicely. And so he told me to please sit down in the waiting room, to the right. Please my wand!

Anyway, I’ve been sitting down in this forsaken waiting room for at least 3 hours. Perhaps even more. I am really starting to lose my patience. Finding a job for an insane person should not take this long! Oops. I called myself insane. Really, Minerva! Well, I could probably have looked through the paper and found a job quicker than this. My patience is rapidly going down. CAN YOU TELL I AM LOSING IT???!!! And I rarely, and I mean, rarely lose it.

I slammed my hand down on the armrest beside me and stood up impatiently and strode to the closed door that led to the pleasant mahogany chair room. And that’s when I slammed into the now open door. Ouch.

I blinked at the man from the front desk, a little dazed. He raised one eyebrow, and I stared at him, an eye for an eye. He sighed and then silently handed me a scrap of paper. I raised my own eyebrow, pushed my glasses down to the tip of my nose angrily, and read aloud, “Guidance Councilor for the MOID, A.K.A Muggles of Intertwined Destinies." He has got to be pulling my beard. Not that I had one, anyway.

I protested, “Are you insane? This has got to be some sort of joke, I assume!” He rolled his eyes and I mentally kicked him.

“I have looked it up in your future myself, Ma’am. It’s what is to be. Now good bye, good luck, and good day, Guidance Councilor McGonagall!” He pushed me successfully out of the building, my other protests all but heard in the bustling crowd surrounding the streets.

 
~~~~~~~~~~

I was walking along a street filled with daylight still fresh – it felt almost delirious, though. I looked up at the sky, and it was… surprisingly clear for a day in London. I checked it again. Still clear. I looked at my surroundings. This was not London. This was…a world of my imagination, a world which only existed within my mind and in the works of Beauty and the Beast. Oh how I adored the movie.

Book keepers and bakers popped into view. I gaped like a two year old – customers lined up behind market stalls. Fountains appeared out of thin air to take their places in the middle of the town square, pebbled ground appeared before my feet. Gardens sprung out on the sides of houses – oh how beautiful they were! My feet carried my body towards the fountains; suddenly, everybody swiveled their heads around to face me and I blinked, startled.

“Look there she goes, that woman is so eccentric!”

“A dangerous sort of woman, can you tell?”

“With a clouded, hazy look!”

“And her body stuck in a book!”

“What an odd woman that McGonagall, an odd woman, that McGonagall!”

“She is not just like the rest of us – she has never been like the rest of us-”

“That McGonagall!!”

And all throughout this idiotic burst of song to the tune of the song “Belle”, I have been completely dumbfounded. That’s right. I have no words for what has taken place here. None at all. I’ll need to remember to slap myself before I go to sleep, so I’ll be knocked out for good with no circulation left inside my brain for dreams to circulate along with them. I mean it.

~~~~~~~~~~

I woke up in the middle of the night, a bit bemused, and scratched my head sleepily. And then a blanket of sleep over took me again, my thoughts still clouded from the day’s events.

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 Chapter 2
 

I groaned when I turned over – a bright light shined directly into my face. What in Merlin’s- I can’t say what in Merlin’s- What the-? Oh no. Please, oh please don’t do this to me. I knew what it was – right then and there. It was my first day of work. When working with muggle- normal people, all your association with the magic world seems to go away…And never be seen again. Which is why I cannot say Merlin’s- ugh. This is going to take some time getting used to.

~~~~~~~~~~

A large hand reached out to grab a nice looking pastry off the tiled counter. The pastry vanished in three bites. In the vicinity, you could hear a stomach growl its appreciation. Clearly, another victim was chosen as the hand shot out again. Bye-bye.

“Hey Sarge – don’t be eatin that if you know what’s good for you and what isn’t,” a rough voice came from behind Sarge.

Without turning around, Sarge replied with his eyes locked on another pastry, “Well then it’s respectable to say that I don’t know what’s good for me and what isn’t.”

The other man sighed and held Sarge’s arm as it grasped for the last pastry in the basket, and slid his hand down to take Sarge’s hand in a firm grip. This time, Sarge turned around.

A grinning face with witty eyes came to meet his captor’s gaze. “Nice to be back, eh?” And the other hand sneaked out for the last pastry happily, stuffing it into his mouth, his eyes still gazing at his captor.

~~~~~~~~~~
 
 
 


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