To Go or Not to Go

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Humor  |  House: Booksie Classic

An emulation of Hamlet's "To Be or Not To Be" soliloquy for the socially disabled.

To go or not to go--that is the question:

Whether ‘tis more polite to suffer

The obnoxious titters and superficial discourse,

Or to stay home away from such troublesome affairs,

And, by not leaving, avoid them. To be a sulking homebody, to smile--

No more--and by a smile to say I must be

A plastic smiling machine in front of stranger blood,

'Tis a thing

I don’t wish to be.

To be a sulking homebody, to smile--

To smile, perhaps too brightly. Ay, there's the problem,

For in attempting to relax in strangers' company what events may come about

While we are sipping slowly from a plastic red cup

Must make us stop and think.

That's the idea

That makes disaster of going to parties.

For who would want to meet the awkward silence,

The pitying gaze of social butterflies,

The lonely corner of the bar by the ice bucket,

The smelly dog that pays you naught attention,

The meaningless nods at your meaningless comments,

The tipsy old man who refuses to part,

And the boredom

That flares up around metallic everyday talk,

When you could just decline

The invitation? Who would suffer this way,

To keep a jolly face under a bursting bladder,

But that the dread of loneliness,

The unwanted solitude from which

Mortals despair, distorts the will

And makes us rather bear such congested meetings

Instead of sulking comfortably in our silk fabric within our humble homes?

Thus the fear of not fitting in does make social machines of us all,

And thus the bliss of staying home

Is sicklied o’er with itching thoughts of regret,

And uplifting moments of self-sufficiency

With this regard their color weakens

And pales in contrast to the distracting chandelier light of the party.


Submitted: May 25, 2014

© Copyright 2020 ClaireBaker. All rights reserved.

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