Oliver Meet The Oh Long Johnson Cat

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Humor  |  House: Booksie Classic

Oliver from the Morganville vampires goes to counselling for his anger issues and Dr. Theo tells him he must get a cat. Oliver and this cat soon have it in for each other. Find out why Oliver isn't a pet kind of guy.

Oliver stared at Dr. Theo in shock. "WHAT?!" Oliver yelled. Dr. Theo readjusted his glasses then looked at Oliver. "I think you are far too stressed, i think you may need a pet. One of the people on the way out will give you one of the cats we give to people for thearopy." Theo looked nervous. "You are serious? Great." Oliver slumped in his chair. On the way out someone came up to him with a cat box containing a black cat with huge green eyes and a white stripe on his chest along with all the things needed to look after him. Oliver walked out to his limosene and drove home. He set the cat box down on the table and went into his living room to take a nap. "Oh long John, oh long johnson, oh don piannooo, why i eyes ya for all the live long days." A strange strangled voice came from somewhere, waking Oliver up. He looked around the living room, nothing. He walked into the kitchin and saw the cat sat on the table. OUT of the box. "How the fuck did you get there!?" The cat looked at him with its larg eyes. "Oh, long John." It said. Oliver stared. "Oh long Johnson." Oliver stared. "Oh don piannooo." Still Oliver stared. "Why i eyes ya for all the live long days." Oliver still stared. "WHAT. THE. FUCK?!" He finaly said. "Whaaaaat Theeeeeeee Fuuuuuuuuck." The cat immitated. "Shut up." Oliver said, hating its voice. "Shuuuut uuuuuup." It mimicked. "SHUT UP YOU SCRAWNY LITTLE FLEA BAG!" Oliver yelled. "SHUUUUT UUUP YOOOOU LOOOOOONERR!" The cat yelled back. Oliver started to cry because the cat was right, he was a loner and always would be. The cat went on you tube and became famous while Oliver kept crying and started bullying people.


Submitted: March 24, 2013

© Copyright 2022 ClaireBearandMyrnin. All rights reserved.

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smircle

It's safe to say I was confused when I started reading this. I'm still not too sure about it, but it made me smile. A talking cat... that's something new. The cat became famous and Oliver started bullying people... not a good ending, but I liked it :)

Mon, March 25th, 2013 3:55pm

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If you've read the Morganville vampire books then you'd know who Oliver was. And yes, I know it doesn't make much sense, but the point was to make people laugh and stuff that makes perfect sense doesn't always do that. Basically Oliver was stressed so the doctor got him to have a cat to soothe him, apparently having pets soothes stress or something. Thanks for your feed back! :)

Mon, March 25th, 2013 8:59am

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