what if we were?..

I honestly cant get my mind to stop thinking about you..its crazy theres been too much water flow under the bridge, too many hurts exchanged and too much love lost..i loathed you..i wanted you gone and wished for the worst as times between us broke me..my being was no more..but we share a son and nothing can compare..youve proberly defiantly moved on and the way that hurts to know we'll never be-no more you and me..but I do know it was also me that made us weak..i still think now what if we called each other up.. i do no it would never be enough..to touch to feel for one last time and remember you were mine..to kiss and feel the passion deep within, the panting and breathlessness..warmth apon each others bare skin..i wish still for what can be no more..adhering gazes into one anothers eyes, being there to care for each others cries to listen to partners little white lies ..thats gone and will not be able to return although there are times of hope and prayer when i want you there..wish for us to run away..together us you and me against the troubles of the world..no families to involve to take sides..make it hard for us ourselves to decide. If only things were different.If only i were different.If only you were different. It well may have been perfection..well over a year later and i know i honestly wish you the best hope you can find  somebody to love you as much as i do..i miss everything and always will as what we had was so surreal..at times you were my rock to stabilize me and at others you were the rock that was used to hitt me to the ground..i understand it may well have been mutual,,for the love we shared and the hate we made..i now  plan to move on and be the best possible..may we both be treated the way we treat within..love you always and forever im yours and you once was mine..the six years we had with the good an the bad..i wouldn't change any of it for the world..you made me who i am..thank you.