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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Romance  |  House: Booksie Classic
"I'm in love with you."

Submitted: May 27, 2014

A A A | A A A

Submitted: May 27, 2014



“Alright. Bye.”


Then, the click as you hung up. But I didn’t move the phone. I sat there, back pressed against my bedroom door, and I prayed, even though I knew it was silly, that you were still on the other end of the line. That any moment now, you might whisper, “Hey, I love you.”

But you didn’t. Because you loved her.

And I felt my chest tighten and the prickling of hot tears behind my eyes. “Do you know… how much you kill me?” A shaky inward breath. “Do you have any idea?” I heard a sob escape from my lips and I gritted my teeth. “You know… I’m not the type of person that cries much. I’m not the type of person to get emotionally unstable. But you. You always seem to mess me up.” I ran a hand through my head of black curls. These were the words I had always wanted but never seemed to be able to say. These were the words I wanted but couldn’t stand for you to hear.

“You make me laugh. And then you make me cry. And then you make me angry. And in a moment, I turn to missing you all over again.” I drew my legs up close, hugging them to my chest. “Why? Why can’t you tell me you hate me? Why can’t you let me leave? Because until you push me away and ask me never to come back to you…” Another shaky breath. “I won’t be able to get over you.”

I rested my head on my knees, letting my tears drip onto my pants. “Do you know how much I think about you? Every minute of the day. Every second I’m awake. The first word on my lips when I open my eyes in the morning is your name. The last thought on my mind when I fall asleep is you. You know… there’s a saying that goes something like ‘People who appear in your dreams thought of you before falling asleep.’ And I wonder… considering how much you cross my mind… do I fill your dreams? Your thoughts? Because you’re all that I think about and all that I can’t bear to think about.”

I swallowed, the words getting stuck in my throat. “And it all hurts so damn much because you were the one person I promised myself that I would never fall for. And you’re the one person I can’t have because you’ll never look at me, you’ll never think of me the way you think of her. And you… you’re the one person I can’t let go of.”

“I’ll admit to it. There are times when I think, ‘God, if you exist, please, please, please,’ because I want you more than I’ve ever wanted anything. There are times when I wish you and her would break up so that I might have a chance, even if you end up liking me less than her. Even if you’re only with me because you want a rebound relationship. But then I’ll turn around and think, ‘I can’t wish for that,’ because you love her. Because you’re happy. And fuck… But I want for you to be happy.” I wiped the tears from my face and closed my eyes.

“I know that I’ve told you ‘I don’t love,’ but I take it back because I’m in love with you.” I breathed in. Deep. Tasting the tears on my lips and the feeling of that phrase, true and clear, ringing in my head. “I’m in love with you.” Then again, this time in a breathy, shaky whisper, “I’m in love with you.”

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