In the Event of a Zombie Apocalypse

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Poetry  |  House: Booksie Classic
I've got my own plans for survival...

Submitted: December 16, 2011

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Submitted: December 16, 2011

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In the event of a zombie apocalypse
 
I will be barricaded in at WHSmith
with a plethora of fictional friends
to distract me from the howling
and decapitations. Sustained by crisps,
sweets, fizzy pop, I can insulate my nest
by using titty pages from The Sun
alternated with the stock market news,
money irrelevant now dead people
wish to eat our brains and sodomise us
with broom handles in an afterlife orgy.
I can burn mens' magazines for warmth
after checking the anatomical perfection
contained within, comparing what models
have with my own physical inadequacies.
When the undead chomp Angel from Leeds
will they find her salty falsies so succulent?
I should be safe from looters, as zombies
are notoriously poor readers. I'll put a pile
celeb-written novels outside, just in case.
You'll find me curled up behind the counter
with a bloody good book or two.
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© Copyright 2017 Clare Hill. All rights reserved.

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