Where you go, I go

Reads: 306  | Likes: 0  | Shelves: 0  | Comments: 1

More Details
Status: Finished  |  Genre: Horror  |  House: Booksie Classic
The story of a girl who is bizarrely connected to her twin sister... too connected.

Submitted: January 19, 2012

A A A | A A A

Submitted: January 19, 2012



Where you go, I go

By Clare Aston








I wasn’t paying attention to them. My consciousness wasn’t here. I wasn’t present.


I was away.


I was in my own world…




Jessa was running towards me; it was strange seeing yourself through the eyes of, well, of you. Jessa was my twin. Same long blonde hair, same luminous green eyes, same athletic build.

She reached down and jerked me up from the flowing grass so that I was standing directly in front of her. Just like a mirror, our left side of our mouths stretched upwards in identical smirks.  Her hand was so warm, so soothing…so real. I could feel the coarseness of her callouses that lined her fingers, the smooth silk of her palm and the slight prick of her nails.

I closed my eyes and drank in her essence. Memories of her and I together came flooding back in abundance, all the happiness and contentment, of companionship and safety. Every good moment of my life, Jessa was there for it. Jessa shared it.


I want to stay in this Utopia forever.



The wind had been punched out of me. I felt my insides collapsing in on each other. One by one; merging together to form an indiscernible mass of bloody tissue.

Jessa held in her hand a dagger, slick with blood.

Wait, what? What was going on?

Looking down at my stomach, I didn’t see past the ragged hole that made up my midriff. My white shirt was slowly being stained with the scarlet colour of blood. The colour seeped outwards until it completely passed my shirt and started staining my skin.

As the red started to creep up over my chin I fell onto my knees in front of my sister. I stared up at her, she was so magnificent in her evil and I feel like an ant amongst gods.

“Jessa?” I asked beseechingly, ‘How could you?”

She gave me a wry smile; as if my last words formed a question that was stupid to ask.

“But Jesse,” she said simply, “I didn’t…”



No. I was back. I didn’t want to be here.

Looking around me, I recognised the plain grey walls of Jessa’s bedroom, her bed still unmade, was decorated with lumps of clothing and half opened books.

The smell of peaches and soft flowers stung my nose as it wafted up from behind me; it was the perfume that my mother always wore. And she was one of “them” that I was trying to avoid.

“Jesse, come back into the living room,” she pleaded.

My father, the living embodiment of the ‘strong and silent type’ stood motionless behind her.

‘I don’t want to,” I said forcefully, “I’m calm here,”

Behind me, my parents didn’t make a sound.  After a while I felt the emptiness of the room and I knew they had left.





With a start I woke up, entangling my limbs within the folds of the already mangled sheets.

“Did I scare you there Jesse?” called Jessa teasingly.

She was climbing through the open window, the wind making her hair whip around and encase the top half of her body.

I slumped back onto the bed and pulled the covers back over my head. It was about time she got home. Unfortunately however, Jessa didn’t feel like sleeping, or letting me sleep for that matter.

From the window, Jessa bounded onto the bed, making my entire body lift straight up into the air.

“So,” said Jessa as she tickled me, “Did the rents freak when I didn’t come home?”

“S-s-stop it!” I begged, ‘I-I ca-an’t breathe!”

“Beat ya again!” she sang, as she rolled onto the opposite side of the bed.

“They’re pretty stressed out you know. Mum was even crying for a bit.”

“Oh for God’s sake, you’d think that I’d never been late before!”

“Jessa,” I sighed, “All the times you’ve been late, you’ve been with me. Speaking of, where were you all by yourself until…?” I glanced at my watch, “Two o’clock in the morning?”

I raised my eyebrows at her. Suddenly a great big flying soft thing was thrown into my face.

“Just go to sleep you dirty minded girl,” she laughed.

Something on her stomach caught my eye as she stretched upwards to turn off the light.

“Wait,” I murmured.

“Jesse, no!” she panicked.

“What’s this?” I asked staring at her bewilderment.

“Nothing happened, I swear!”

Around her navel there were dark purple bruises that had welled up until they looked like some sort of deformity. I pushed up her shirt further and I realized that these angry welts reached as far up as her bra strap. The marks were in the same places Jessa had stabbed me in Utopia.  What had she done to herself?

She pushed my hands away and stared up at the ceiling.

“Do you have them too?” she asked.

“Probably,” I stared at her, “That’s the way it usually works isn’t it?”

“I’m sorry,” she whispered.

“What for?”

She turned to me, and I was shocked to see her eyes welling with tears.

‘I don’t know,” she cried, “Jesse, I can’t remember. I thought the bruises must have been from you!”

‘They’re not from me Jessa,” Most likely.  




“Teddy bear, teddy bear, turn around. Teddy bear, teddy bear, touch the ground,” I sang out the song into the empty street as my feet jumped in time with the rhythm of the rope. I looked up at our house on my right. Mum should really come outside and see me skip seeing as I’m only eight and can already do ‘Teddy Bear’.

Swwick…. Swwick…. Swwick….


“Teddy bear, teddy bear climb up the stairs. Teddy bear, Teddy bear… ahh!”

My feet, that had just moments before been springing upwards, were now tripping over themselves as the rope intertwined its length up my legs like some sort of constrictor.

Wide eyed, I saw the gravel of the road come up to meet my face, instinctively I shut my eyes.


“Mum!” I screamed as I burst into the house, the graze on my cheek dripping blood, “Mum! Where are you?”

“What is it Jesse?” Mum said impatiently from the next room. I charged forward, eager to reap the attention my injury so obviously deserved.

“Mum I…” I began.

“Jesse, can’t you see your sister is hurt? I don’t know what happened just one second…” she turned around and stopped dead as she saw me.

Likewise I was staring also.

Jessa was sitting on top of the kitchen cupboard showing off the graze that was ruining her cheek.

I stared up at my mother. Her usually rosy cheeks had paled, and her blue eyes looked twice their normal size.

“I fell over,” I said.

She stared at me some more.

“Well I’ll be damned.” She whispered.

“Ha ha! Mummy swore!” Jessa giggled, swinging her legs from the top of the bench.





I yawned.

“Morning Mum,” I muttered as I trudged past her chair. I was not a morning person.

She looked up at me and I stared in shock. Her eyes were red and sore looking, and new tears welled in the corners of her eyes as if they were dams about to overflow. Her hair was knotted and teased, and her nails were bloodied and torn at the nail beds.

“Mum,” I whispered.

“I can’t take it Jesse. I just can’t. What with Jessa…”

“Mum,” I interrupted quickly, glad that I could put an end to her misery, “Don’t worry about Jessa, she came home last night. I saw her. Though she did leave before I got up this morning,” I shrugged, “But I suppose she had something important to do.”

Instead of the comfort that I was hoping to provide my mother with, I seemed to have made her distress worse. She started to shake and the dams started to overflow, creating running rivers down her cheeks. Before I could say anything she stood and with deliberate steps, slowly left the room.

“What’s Mum crying about?” Jessa said as she slouched into the kitchen.

I stared at her as she casual opened the fridge door and took a swing out of the bottle of orange juice. She was oblivious.

“You tell me!!” I shouted.

My voice shocked her into chocking on the juice and she stared at me, her eyes open in shock and bewilderment.

“What did I do?” she asked defensively.

“Well I mentioned your name and Mum burst into tear. So obviously you have something to do with it,” I stormed out of the room leaving Jessa alone with her juice.



Tears streamed down my face, but they weren’t caused by the coffin slowly lowering into the crown, I didn’t even know who it was. No, I was only here for moral support.

Across the gaping hole Mum was leaning into Dad’s chest. Her knees had given out a few minutes ago, but Dad wasn’t being a support for her. He was consumed by his own grief. His body racked with sobs, they shook this man, this man that I had thought to be immovable.

I closed my eyes as my mother’s keening reached a whole new pitch and I only wished that I could close my ears as well.

Suddenly I wasn’t alone. I looked to my right, and sighed with relief….Jessa.

She took my hand; her fingers laced with mine and imbued me with her strength. I turned my sights back to my parents.

Who had they known so well that caused them this much pain?

“Jesse?” Jessa whispered, “This just makes me remember that pact we made…I’m glad we did.”

“So am I,” I answered, “It just wouldn’t be the same without you.”



“Hey what’s up?” I glanced over my shoulder quickly as Jessa walked into my room. My mind was riveted on the computer; I had an assignment due tomorrow.

“Jes-Jesse,” Her voiced cracked, “Haven’t you heard?”

That got my attention. Jessa was crying. Jessa hardly ever cried. What the hell?

“David…David killed himself this morning he, uh, he jumped off Jasper’s Cliff.”

Time stopped.

David. Our best friend David. He was the only one ever to break into the duo. I knew he got shit for his sexual orientation, but… suicide? It was that bad?

“I didn’t know,” Then the tears started.


Jessa was holding me as we rocked back and forth. We had been hugging for so long that it didn’t seem like we were separate entities. Not Jessa and not Jesse. Just Jess, that’s all that we were.

“We have to promise each other something.” She stopped for a minute, and by the look on her face, she was trying to orientate her thoughts. “If something happened to you…”

I interrupted, “Nothing is going to happen to me Jessa!”

“But if it does! If it does, I couldn’t….I wouldn’t be able to…”

“Ssssh,” I soothed. “I know what you’re trying to say.”

Together, holding hands, still hugging we said that blasphemous thought out loud, for each to hear.

‘Where you go, I go.”




Our parents refused to speak to us. They blatantly ignored the fact that Jessa and I were in the backseat of the car. I know it’s bad and evil and totally despicable, but I was curious. Who had died?

“Mum?” I asked, in the rear view mirror her eye glanced over to me, “Mum, who was it that died?”

My question hung in the air, gathering tension to its core, growing in size and weight.

My body hurled itself against the seatbelt as Mum rammed her foot on the brake.

“Mum? What the fuck?” Jessa started to scream, but Mum cut across her.

Her voice was so low, but it drowned out the screech that issued from Jessa’s throat, it was cold, it was harsh and it didn’t have any maternal warmth. Not a hint.

“Get out.”

There was no argument. Her tone scared me. I felt as if I had disappointed her in some extreme way, as if, by asking that question, I had killed everything good in our family.

Jessa and I stood outside and watched our car drive away without us.




Jessa was furious.

“I can’t believe she just left us here! That BITCH! Yeah so her friend died, but we’re her DAUGHTERS!”

“Jessa, calm down,” Yes I know it was bad, evil and despicable all over again; but now I was even more curious.

“No! I will not CALM DOWN!” Jessa ranted, “We are at least a two and a half hour walk home! And they just LEFT us!”

She stopped and screamed into the air, “WELL AREN’T THEY JUST THE BEST FUCKING PARENTS EVER!”

This was strange, Jessa should be angry, but she shouldn’t be that angry. Mum and Dad were grieving; they were bound to make stupid decisions.

I grabbed her arm and turned her towards me; her face was distorted with hate, sadness and oddly; fear.

“Jessa! What’s wrong?”

She brought her face so close to mine that our noses were nearly touching. She spat out her words, she looked ugly with rage.

“They left me. I was hurt, I was bleeding. I called for them. I called for you.”

What was Jessa talking about, she hadn’t called me?

“I thought that you would have heard me! But no, for the first time our connection didn’t work!” She sneered out the word.

“But our parents…” she spat the words out as if they were death. “Our parents were supposed to be there, they were supposed to pick me up.” Her voice went deathly quiet, “And they forgot. They forgot their own FUCKING DAUGHTER!”

“Jessa, what they hell are you talking about? They forget to pick us up all the time! It’s not a big deal!”

“Have you noticed where we are?” Jessa said exasperatedly.

For the first time I looked around. We were standing out on the headland just out of town: Jasper’s Cliff.

“David had it right.” She whispered.


“Death has got to be a better life. But I can’t go on without you. We’re too close. It doesn’t work otherwise.”

“Jessa, you’re scaring me.”

“Where you go I go, right, Jesse? Well now you have to follow me.”

She turned around and sprinted for the cliff.

“Jessa, NO!”

I chased her.

We were the same. Speed for speed, stride for stride, and breath for breath. I couldn’t gain on her. Every second brought us closer to the edge. I couldn’t even wrap my mind around the fact that Jessa wanted to commit suicide; I was entirely focused on running.

Intuitively, I knew that if I wanted to save her, if I wanted to save us, I had to leap.

Taking a few more strides I leaped, aiming for her middle. I felt time slow.

I knew that I would stop her; I knew that we would live. I smiled, and Jessa matched it. Just as my arms wrapped around her waist, she disappeared.

One moment she was there, running, albeit running to her death, but still: running. Then she was just gone.

My leap, having no force to stop me, carried me over the cliff.




For some reason I was floating. I was floating over my mother. I couldn’t find my father, I couldn’t find Jessa.

Mum was talking to a police officer.

“I’m sorry for your losses this past week Ma’am.”

My mother stared around blankly.

“I was kind of expecting it. After Jessa was murdered, Jesse went psychotic; she thought she was still alive. I thought that the funeral would bring her back but instead she didn’t know who it was we were burying.”

“That must have been hard Ma’am.”

“They were always close,” Mum said, “Jesse even had scars where Jessa was stabbed that night. I saw them when she was sleeping.”




The scars…Jessa stabbing me in Utopia….Killing her, hurt me…


But she’s WRONG. Jessa’s alive, I’m alive. ..


I’m right here…


Just turn around…


Just look up…


I was drifting, just drifting

There was Jessa. She was radiant, she was smiling, and she showed no remorse for my death. Instead she held out a hand.

“It’s about time Jesse,” she squealed, “I’ve been waiting so long for you. I couldn’t go on without you”

“Where you go I go,” I whispered.


Her hand was still there, hovering.





I took it.

© Copyright 2019 clare17. All rights reserved.

Add Your Comments: