The everlasting realization

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Romance  |  House: Booksie Classic

A boy and his realization.


The story begins with a boy. His name is Robert. Robert was a peculiar case, he was an extremely nice guy but had the lowest self-esteem one can imagine. When he was young there was much controversy at home. With his abusive father he was mistreated and not raised very well. Through a series of life experiences he’s learned about the world all on his own. He saw the world how he saw it, instead of how anyone else saw it. It gave him the advantage in living because he notices the world’s true face. Unlike, those who have been taught the world and see it in there mentors eyes. He was an average guy nothing really special about him showed besides his view of the world and his kindness, many would say he’s too nice and that he over thinks a lot, but it was just the way he raised himself.

Robert would always try his best with his friends. Always trying to make them happy, instead of himself. He didn’t care what would happen to him, as long as his friends were happy, supposedly, he would be too. He lived his life everyday as best he could, ignoring as many as the negative voices in his head as he could possibly could. Trying every single day to smile the best he could for his friends. His friends would get irritated at his attitude sometimes. He would talk so badly, of himself and his friends would just get annoyed, he would do this all the time and his friends were tired of it. No matter what they would say to him no words could ever get to him, besides his own and the only words he’d tell himself, “Idiot, stupid, ugly, disgusting, waste, trash….” He loves his friends too much to be a burden or a nuisance to them so he tried his best to suppress himself.

Robert had a best friend, his name was Jack, a friend he’s known for years. He used to move around a lot so he never really made a friend for more than a month, so of course this friend of his was really special and close to him. They’ve been through a lot together the good and the bad, but in the end they always stayed friends.

Robert has been through a lot of things throughout his life so he’s a very compassionate person as well as understanding. Known for saying “I know how you feel” and being able actually know how to feel he was very well thought of to be a friend you can go to talk about anything and he would always have the perfect words to make you feel better. And of course being the kind person that he is, he would always be glad to help.

He never really had a love life. His under confidence and low self esteem kept him from finding himself a good match for him. He understood that girls aren’t going to just fling themselves and he could never muster up the courage to fling himself at girls. He came to his own understanding that even though he’s 18 years old he can still wait another 18 to find the perfect girl for him. Being a very patient man this was no trial for him. Sure he would succumb to his loneliness every now and then but he knew that love will find him eventually.

One day, Robert met a girl. He became very interested in her very quickly. Her name was Myra. Myra had long wavy black hair, eyes that glistened as beautiful as the moonlight, skin as soft as a cloud. Everything about her was magic. When he got to chance to talk to her, he enjoyed every word of the conversation. Robert quickly realized he had begun to like this girl, but this wasn’t the first time he’s experienced this. He told himself the simplest of things, “You’ve been through this before hundreds of times, the protocol is simple, you like her she doesn’t like you. You’ll like her you’ll get over her and that’s the end of the story nothings is going to happen so just forget about it.” He told himself this every time there was a new girl and, like he said, it always ended the same.

Throughout time, he would hardly see her, but when he did he would always feel the same. He found it odd, but he just told himself the same thing every time. Yet, every time he would see her the same thing would happen. It was peculiar, it was something he could not comprehend. As much as he could he tried to forget those feelings he was having telling himself, “Robert, you know where this is going man, stop wasting your time mulling over this girl. It’s already been understood, no one could ever go out with a piece of crap like you, your trash and trash belongs on the floor. People throw away trash, not treasure it. You have no chance what so ever so can you please just stop.” No matter what he could not. “Fine then, but you know what’s going to happen…nothing. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

It was understood, after a couple months of hanging out spending time he realized he’s finally fallen in love. He would have nights of no sleep because she was the only thing that was running through his head. Her beauty would elevate every meeting they had. Her voice, sweeter with every word. Robert had truly fallen in love with Myra.

Robert was never all that great at hiding his feelings. Myra very much knew of Roberts’s interest in her, she just didn’t know how deeply. Robert found out that she knew, and found out that he was more of a friend to her if anything. Of course, he wasn’t surprised it wasn’t the first time he’s been sent to the friend zone but the only different thing this time was that it kind of hurt him a little bit. Yet his heart still burned for hers, but he never actually tried anything. One evening Jack was relaxing with him at Roberts’s house and they were just talking. Jack had said “I’m thinking about taking Myra out.” Robert was silent for a second and then said “Yeah man that sounds like a good idea you should go for it.” And like said, one night all three of them were together and Jack asked Myra to the movies. Robert stood there silent, waiting for Myra’s answer which just was, “I’ll think about it.” Obviously she didn’t want to answer him with Robert around.

After some time had passed Robert was walking with Jack. Robert said “So what did Myra say about that date?” Jack replied “Well she basically understood that I want her to be my girlfriend but she said that you would be all heartbroken.” He said with a chuckle. Robert replied with “Nah, man why would I be like that? I just want the both of you to be happy and I don’t want to be a reason to stop someone from doing what they want to do or be with who they want to be, you guys are my friends and if you guys like each other I want you guys to be together I want you guys to have fun and be happy.” Jack simply said “Can you honestly say that?” Robert looked him in the eyes and said “Of course.”

Myra ended up being with Jack. Roberts’s heart broke. Robert refused to hang out with them claiming “It’s awkward being a 3rd wheel.” Even through all this Robert was still very much in love with Myra but didn’t do anything, say anything, he just stayed in the background. At this point Robert understood that he will never fall in love anyone else but Myra, but he can never have her. So he accepted the fact that he will never be with anyone, because he will always love Myra and will never want to be with anyone but her. But he will never have her; Robert will make himself suffer the most tragic of pains to make his friends happy. Even if it means spending the rest of his life alone, loving someone he can never attain.

Submitted: September 23, 2012

© Copyright 2021 Clause Rain. All rights reserved.

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Add Your Comments:


Jake Emerson

It was an interesting story, it was just written differently, I'm use to first person and sometimes third person but, this felt like if you sat down with me and told me an idea for a story you had. It's not bad just different, it was nicely written and was this story based off you or someone you know? The thoughts of Robert seemed like it came from a personal source.

Sun, September 23rd, 2012 7:12pm

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