The Conflict Of Happiness

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Young Adult  |  House: Booksie Classic
Today,I am 18.
Love has not come to me.
I have never felt love.
Never since that day.

Submitted: November 21, 2010

A A A | A A A

Submitted: November 21, 2010



2 Years Ago:

Running faster and faster,I come to an old hill.As everyone around me is screaming,I jump into a ditch at the top of that small hill.Gun shots surround the old hill and people are flying mid-air.I am crying now.My parents are somewhere out there in that bloody massacre!I run out shortly after to try and look for them.I find my dad,dead.My mother is running around calling for help.As I gallop to her,a long piece of medal flys out of nowhere and hits her in the head.She falls down in a pool of blood.I am screaming and crying.They are gone.I am gone.There is nothing left for me to say or do.I am love-less.


I just made some coffee for the long morning.I didn't really feel like eating anything.The year is 2010.I became love-less shortly before.I still remembed that horrible place.Afganistan is some place I will never face again.If I ever went back,would I feel sorrow or have flashbacks?I wasn't sure of how sadness worked.Hell,I had felt dead for the last two years!My dad was my life and my mom was my little world inside my sane head.Now,I am in rehab.Rehab of being addicted to sadness.Sadness was a drug that would never not be with me.I carried that word everywhere!There wasn't one place I felt happy about.I only ate at my house because all around that world outside,there was my parents.They were out there,along with thousand other friends of theirs.I could never face that.As I used to think,happiness was the key to everything.I use sadness as the key to my everything.My highschool sweetheart could never accept my feelings,so he left.That was my last piece of any love in my life.He is now my 0% happiness.Why am I this way?I don't know.My feelings are stuck on the sadness wheel.The knife inside of me would never come out.No matter how hard I pulled,I could never find a possible way to get it out.he pizza man came alittle after I turned on the T.V.I owed him $20.Well,it makes since for the amount of pizza and breadsticks he brought me.Love surrounded the outside he was standing in.I demanded him to go,since he was letting the air in.He left and I didn't even say Thank You.Who cares right?Not me!I know how much that day has come over my life,but lets face it!My life would already have been a wreck anyway right?I just don't get the concept "happy".Who wants to be happy?If you are in love with someone,why be happy if they are just going to take your heart out!This is my way of thinking.A smart conflict of thinking.I write novels of how happiness would ruin everything.They never sell.Why am I trying?I am never trying again.

© Copyright 2017 ClayPlusTaylor. All rights reserved.

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