Butt Monkee Bill

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Fantasy  |  House: Booksie Classic

This is a poem about a hobo's cigarette butt collecting antics.

Butt Monkey Bill


There was butt monkey bill, and what gave him a thrill

Was a tin full of partly smoked ciggies.

He'd carefully pick them from ashtrays and gutters,

Then he'd sit and he'd smoke. He'd mutter and toke.

Bill got his name from that strange face of his,

Like a badly drawn character, straight out of Viz.

With an uncanny resemblance to a chimpanzee,

That had always seemed rather strange to me.

A comb, some scissors, and a couple of weeks

Would be more than enough to reveal those cheeks.

He made psychopathic killers seem positively charming,

And a panic attack extremely calming.

With a nervous twitch like you've never seen,

And eyes that held secrets of what he'd once been.

But when it came down to butt ends, he was simply the best.

A hundred, a thousand, a million's no test.

And when his tin got crammed with butts galore,

He'd go to the park and look for more.

And when the park was done, and he'd finished with town,

With his matches and rizla, he'd sit himself down.

He'd sit and roll, and think about things,

Then he'd skip to the park for a play on the swings.

Submitted: February 02, 2013

© Copyright 2021 comedy poetry. All rights reserved.

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Add Your Comments:


Stormbird Throneshaker

Okay, tis funny, butt who wrote the dang thang anywho?
I'll vote on it though, dats fer a shore thang!!!

Sat, February 2nd, 2013 8:04pm


I think it was Indie. She has been machine-gunning every nook of "Booksie" with her poetic bullets. She is one hell of a strong character...Great!...just what we need...haha

Sun, February 3rd, 2013 1:59am

Indie Skreet

just to reiterate ......

Unfairly I am put on trial, For another's choice to defile, You should know by now when I rile, I do it loud and in my style!

I rest my case.

Sun, February 3rd, 2013 2:38pm


This has been posted by Ben Hardstaff...Anyway its a good poem!

Sun, February 3rd, 2013 8:01am

Insane Membrane

well it in fact belongs to Ben Hardstaff ! I read it years ago ... not his best in fact i struggle to find it funny , where as I loved his PPP penguin .

Sun, February 3rd, 2013 3:09pm


Thanks Insane...it has all become clear now..at least there wasn't an intruder...haha

Sun, February 3rd, 2013 8:04am

comedy poetry

Ha,Ben I finally found out who wrote it. I found it both charming and funny. 'A comb, some scissors, and a couple of weeks, would be more than enough to reveal those cheeks.' I love it!

Mon, February 4th, 2013 6:36pm

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