DOWN WITH HOMOPHONIA
I live in Lancashire born and bread
When I was a child I lived on bred
Parents I came from everybody nose
Due to the hideousness of my knows.
I bought my wife a 9-carrot wring
Already arguing the next mourning
Went for a burger that was full of mayor
Reported our grievances to the mare.
Failure in the sex I tried to illicit
Thoughts of affairs, much more elicit
I’m proud I’ve never been with a haw
No need to worry about that saw.
Was thirty nine… now I’ve turned forte
To give up on life is not my forty
I dream of being a massive knob
Manner and door with a regal nob.
Musn’t be stupid and pass the book
Listen to a story on my “Talking Buck”
I like nothing better than a bit of oral
Pardon me, I meant to say “aural”.
Submitted: January 29, 2013
© Copyright 2021 comedy poetry. All rights reserved.
Comments
Very funny, "....to the mare"! I dowen't wawent too rayne owen yer paryade, buwt ders alawt ov spellin mystayak!
Wed, January 30th, 2013 2:44pm
Author
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Mike, thanks for checking us out and your kind comment.
Wed, January 30th, 2013 9:05am
Haha, Garry, I love it. 'I dream of being a massive knob,
Manner and door with a regal nob'. Brilliant!
Oops, don;t know how to leave a comment as myself, That last comment was me, redskelf. Tried to find this page when I was logged in as me, but couldn't and I can't add it as fan. Told you I was a technoklutz.
Wed, January 30th, 2013 3:45pm
Just sussed it, Will be posting as myself now. Ciao.
Wed, January 30th, 2013 3:46pm
This is very funny! I am just looking around to see what's going on, but had to tell you.
I liked this! Very inventive.
Alice
Author
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Sultry it is a pleasure from us all to have you turn up and give your views....thanks.
Wed, January 30th, 2013 9:11am
Very clever piece of poetry Garry, i'm gonna start a funny one today. Bit stuck for subject matter though at the mo. Good start to comedy poetry mate :-)
Thu, January 31st, 2013 3:01pm
too many spelling mistooks in this for my licking and I think you should go easy on homophone players.
Thu, January 31st, 2013 3:46pm
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Reply
Thanks for your humorous comment and checking us out.
We have five contributors who produce varied comic poetry which prevents the overexposure of one particular poet(hopefully!) We aim to keep our profile on the first page of the "Read" humour section at all times(if that is possible)
There is another contribution from Comedy Poetry on about page 4 "P...P..Pick up a Penquin" or just check out the poets work by using the Hyperlink on our profile page.
Anyway nice to meet you and thanks again for your comment.
but I did think it was funny
Thu, January 31st, 2013 3:47pm
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That's what its all about...thanks.
Thu, January 31st, 2013 2:46pm
yeah I Like this almost as much as Jacks' comments :-)
Thu, January 31st, 2013 4:05pm
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Thanks Insane for your comments and decision to join.
Thu, January 31st, 2013 2:49pm
Well, four a disclessic everything seams to bee in oarder.
I couldn't fine that minnie misteaks, sew it ghetts a voat frum me!
Author
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Funny comment and thanks for voting for us!
Fri, February 1st, 2013 5:11am
I spelt two rong!
Fri, February 1st, 2013 1:14am
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Thanks, Stormbird Throneshaker..ps great name...haha
Fri, February 1st, 2013 5:13am
Creative, clever wordplay! Loved it. I think I am becoming a fan, Garry!
Fri, February 1st, 2013 4:26am
Author
Reply
Thanks for your encouraging comments Patri. We welcome you as a fan. Please let us check out your work and we will contact you..if that's ok?
Fri, February 1st, 2013 5:15am
I'd love for you to check out my postings. I also have a website, poemslammer.com if you'd like to check that out as well. Feel free to contact me. Please and thank you!
Sat, February 2nd, 2013 3:52am
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I will do very soon Patri as I like what I have read so far.
Sat, February 2nd, 2013 12:38pm
Always love a bit of lighthearted fun.
Sun, February 3rd, 2013 11:31pm
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I'm glad we made your heart lighter with fun and appreciation for telling us.
We will check your work out presently.
If you go on "Read" then humour you should always find a Comedy Poetry poem.
Thanks and hope to hear from you again.
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Indie Skreet
These too first poems are simply two good. You really are an incredibly inventive and funny nob Garry.
Tue, January 29th, 2013 6:59pmAuthor
Reply
Your words are too kind, Indie.
Wed, January 30th, 2013 9:08am