My Pride Has Died
I wrote many odes with wit,
At least that is what I thought.
But now think I’m in the shit,
As really is not my fort –ay?
Hardman and Garry Croft wowed;
Of course I am not bitter,
But the nobs are ‘laugh out loud’,
Mine worthy of a titter?
This is not the post I’d planned
To ensconce me to the masses,
But might prevent me getting banned,
Like fluttering eyelashes;
Perhaps my penchance for profane
Will do the trick alone?
Maybe I should think again,
Am I lowering the tone?
If thought I could sleep my way
To top of the pile I would
But suspect have had my day
So don't think I really should
Considered flashing bits at you,
But Ma Nature’s not been kind,
Although like you I have got two,
They are pretty hard to find;
Deliberated sending bribes,
Yet that wouldn't have worked either,
‘Cos don’t know where you all reside,
Plus my faith states I’m a miser;
Apart from obvious fact,
I haven't had the time,
As my wee brain's been wracked,
Trying to make this rhyme;
I just need to get some pride,
Begging is so bleedin' naff,
But for now the pride has died,
So press ‘like’ and fucking laff!
Inspired by Edward J Bradley Snr post: 2nd-Hand Smoke
The Generous Smoker
Yes, I’ve seen the statistics,
Regarding second hand smoke,
But let’s get realistic,
And I say this now I’m broke,
What is all the fuss about?
They are getting a great deal,
For not having to pay out,
For the way it makes me feel,
They get the little high,
From my selfless white cloud,
And no one can deny,
I’m lavish to the crowd,
Yes I’m a generous smoker,
Condemned by lad and lass,
But am I also joker?
When I claim to love en masse!
© Copyright 2016 comedy poetry. All rights reserved.
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