Two In One 'Cos I'm A Cheat

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Humor  |  House: Booksie Classic

As my real name is Indie Cisive (yeah, Indie Skreet’s not my real name in case you hadn’t guessed), thought I would post two in case one of them falls flat; I want the opportunity to fall flat twice …… never say Indie Vidual does things by halves ;)

My Pride Has Died

I wrote many odes with wit,

At least that is what I thought.

But now think I’m in the shit,

As really is not my fort –ay?

Hardman and Garry Croft wowed;

Of course I am not bitter,

But the nobs are ‘laugh out loud’,

Mine worthy of a titter?

This is not the post I’d planned

To ensconce me to the masses,

But might prevent me getting banned,

Like fluttering eyelashes;

Perhaps my penchance for profane

Will do the trick alone?

Maybe I should think again,

Am I lowering the tone?

If thought I could sleep my way

To top of the pile I would

But suspect have had my day

So don't think I really should

Considered flashing bits at you,

But Ma Nature’s not been kind,

Although like you I have got two,

They are pretty hard to find;

Deliberated sending bribes,

Yet that wouldn't have worked either,

‘Cos don’t know where you all reside,

Plus my faith states I’m a miser;

Apart from obvious fact,

I haven't had the time,

As my wee brain's been wracked,

Trying to make this rhyme;

I just need to get some pride,

Begging is so bleedin' naff,

But for now the pride has died,

So press ‘like’ and fucking laff!

Inspired by Edward J Bradley Snr post: 2nd-Hand Smoke

The Generous Smoker

Yes, I’ve seen the statistics,

Regarding second hand smoke,

But let’s get realistic,

And I say this now I’m broke,

What is all the fuss about?

They are getting a great deal,

For not having to pay out,

For the way it makes me feel,

They get the little high,

From my selfless white cloud,

And no one can deny,

I’m lavish to the crowd,

Yes I’m a generous smoker,

Condemned by lad and lass,

But am I also joker?

When I claim to love en masse!


Submitted: February 02, 2013

© Copyright 2021 comedy poetry. All rights reserved.

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Comments

Stormbird Throneshaker

I'm so sorry to hear about Pride having died.
It's hard on a person when a family member passes on.
Well, thank goodness that you and yourself are still living. Hum, I have a Pride in my family too! It must be a very popular name. You see there's me, myself and Pride! It's just like everyone has got an Uncle Bob or something like that.
This gets a vote from me for sure!!!
P.S. I'm sorry that I can't be there for the funeral. Please forgive me.

Sat, February 2nd, 2013 2:15am

Author
Reply

Thanks, Stormbird for another of your witty comments. Have you thought of compiling your "Booksie " comments..A winner all the way...hahahah.

Sun, February 3rd, 2013 2:01am

comedy poetry

Shit, you saw it when I'd posted it with all the errors! Now it really has kicked the bucket .... and thanks for your commiserations.

Sat, February 2nd, 2013 2:20am

comedy poetry

And I haven't a clue why I all the fonts are different!

Sat, February 2nd, 2013 2:41am

Sultry Alice

My pride has died was actually tongue in cheek as you captured the moment beautifully. I don't blame you for considering putting naughty on the table. Might just dazzle them! I like my humor dry and this was arid! good job and I laughed for real, not out of pity!

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The generous smoker was less funny but more true! You captured a lot of details about smoking in that short poem.

----

I think the first one is carrying the second one, and that's okay! I love you! Clap, Clap, Clap!!

Alice

Sat, February 2nd, 2013 4:08am

Author
Reply

This site always welcomes your feelings and comments on our work. Thanks again, Sultry.

Maybe you would like to be involved in the site as you have produced works with some good humorous content.

Thanks again.

Sun, February 3rd, 2013 2:05am

Indie Skreet

Shucks Garry, I am blushing - high praise from the master indeed. I would love to offer to nurse your sorry state, but I think I explained myself in my post ;)

Sat, February 2nd, 2013 8:57pm

Author
Reply

I just love your honesty and don't give a fuck attitude..reminds me of me...hahaha.

In terms of laugh out loud comedy this is the best so far,,,please more...but not all at once. Readers have to eat, sleep and fulfil other responsibilities in life. They cant spend it reading Indie all day..just most of the day...haha.

Sun, February 3rd, 2013 2:09am

ItsNaomiHun

I love the second hand smoke bit :)

Thu, February 14th, 2013 8:31pm

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