Short Leash

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Poetry  |  House: Booksie Classic

A poem about feeling so controlled you can't breath.

 You are so controlling

Think you are all knowing

Just loosen your grip a little bit

*

It’s not like your trying to help

So I try and  help myself

Solve the puzzle find the key

To be in a place I want to be

*

You make sure the doors are double bolted

And when I to pick them your revolted

Think it’s wrong when I know it can’t be

I am just trying to be happy!

 

*

You wanna keep the peace, but you keep me on such a short leash.

Control my every move like a game of chess

I’m your pawn and you're my queen

Why you gotta be so mean?


*

I can barely breath you pull the binding tighter every time

When I try to escape when I try to climb

When I try to grow

You just say no

Why do you have to be in control?

 

Copyright Trevor Stripling 2014


Submitted: December 03, 2014

© Copyright 2021 Comgree. All rights reserved.

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Add Your Comments:

Comments

Maggie Williams

Wow....this is breathtaking. And you call me a poet! Your work is amazing. Please tell me when you write more:)

Fri, December 5th, 2014 12:28am

Author
Reply

Thank you for your wonderful words of encouragement.

Fri, December 5th, 2014 11:24am

Eclipse101

Amazing poem.

Sun, December 7th, 2014 5:43pm

Author
Reply

Thank you.

Sun, December 7th, 2014 11:12am

IronHeart

I think this poem is good, I want to tell you my opinions IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII Your first three lines are strong. Very nice, the third line actually rhymes with itself. A phrase that sounds nice when they’re said out-loud gives poems a charm. IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII I stumbled on the fourth line, because people who are controlling often feel like they’re helping the person. IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII I like the mechanism of the sixth and seventh lines, but I think seventh line would sound better relating to the previous line, like “To get out to where I want to be.” Think about it IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII the twelfth line sounds forced “peace” and “leash” it’s weird, I guess I can’t imagine what peace the controller is trying to keep. IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII the line “why you gotta be so mean” takes away the serious tone of the poem. How about stuff that relates to chess “you put me out first, you’re so keen.” IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII “When I try to grow, you just say no” nice nice.

Mon, December 15th, 2014 12:28am

Author
Reply

Thank you for your opinion, I wrote this awhile back, and just published it recently, so I can understand why you see some mistakes.

Sun, December 14th, 2014 7:42pm

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