Diary of a Abused 18 Year Old Girl

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Horror  |  House: Booksie Classic
**OK So this is just something I wrote, I like writing about stuff off the top of my head.**

Submitted: May 24, 2010

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Submitted: May 24, 2010

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**This song goes with the story!I couldn'tjust find lyrics, so don't watch the video, it's pretty stupid!http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=raOHhKH5V08 **


Dear Journal, January 23,

My father kicked my ass out on the street, after he tried to rape me and I stopped him, and the only thing Icould think:'Thank the lord...' It was about time, he would have killed me if he didn't. So hears a poem Imade up to... express my feelings.

"Aren't parents supposed to protect the child?
Not get mad or riled
For stupid shit?
Not supposed to kick, threaten and hit?
That will never be...
I'm practally dead and free.
No more trust to give
No innitiation to live."

It's not very good but Ithink it expresses how Ifeel pretty well.

Dear Journal, January 29,

I'm starting to get really hungry, all I've had to eat in six days is 2 small peices of bread. I think if I don't get real food soon, I might try and eat off my own arm. Right now the love of food is about to win out, I'm thinking of trading sex for food. But I do not want to, it sucks because my stomach will win out in the end. And I can think of a song I heard a year ago and a good line:
"Then she closed her eyes
And found relief in a knife
The blood flows as she cries" BY: Between the Trees.
I remember I have a knife hidden here somewhere... And sometimes I think life is too much, to live.

Dear Journal, Febuary 7,

Last night I met a boy. His name Jerard, I met him while he was walking through the park. He asked me why I was sleeping on a park bench and I told him the story about my dad trying to rape me, and then kicking me out after I refused. He felt so sorry for me that he asked me if I would like to stay at his house for a couple nights.
I was so happy that I couldn't speak, but instead nodded like a freak. Life doesn't seem so bad, especially since I found out we liked the same type of music, and we both love "Perfect"By:Simple Plan.Sometimes I like to listen to that song and it reminds me not everyone is perfect.

Dear Journal, Febuary 8,

Jerard told me I was really cute, I thought it impossible but I really feel safe with him. Last night we curled up on the couch, and watched the most sweetest movie ever "Casablanca."Isn't amazing how he's everything I ever wanted in a guy?I mean he's cute, romantic, protective, and most importantly he loves me for me. I loved the dialog in Casablanca. My favorite was:

Rick: If that plane leaves the ground and you're not with him, you'll regret it. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but soon and for the rest of your life.Ilsa: But what about us?Rick: We'll always have Paris. We didn't have it before...we'd...we'd lost it until you came to Casablanca. We got it back last night.Ilsa: When I said I would never leave you...Rick: And you never will. But I've got a job to do, too. Where I'm going, you can't follow. What I've got to do, you can't be any part of. Ilsa, I'm no good at being noble, but it doesn't take much to see that the problems of three little people don't amount to a hill of beans in this crazy world. Someday you'll understand that. Here's looking at you, kidIt sort of reminds me of that one saying "If you love something, then set it free. If it loves you back, it'll always come back."

Dear Journal, Febuary 13,

We were laying in bed last night and and jerard looked at me and said "I love you baby."I was so happy I kissed him, he deepened the kiss and it was so fiery and full of passion it soon turned into something more. It was the first night we had sex, and he was sooo good. I loved every minute of it.
He makes me smile, so so so much!I really do love him, I do!

Dear Journal, Febuary 20,

Me and Jerald just had our first fight, I'm so depressed. And the fight was about the stupidest of things!It was about how we should paint the room, I said blue and he said red. And at first it seemed like a good old debate but I said something that pissed him off and he hit me.I saw him differently after that.
But I love him and I'm so sad....

Dear Journal, March 17,

I'm sorry I haven't wrote in you for a while but nothing good or bad has happened, until now that is. This morning the police came to mine and Jeralds house and told me some terrible news. Jerald got shot in a drive by shoot out, and was killed. I cried so hard, I still am. Just last night he proposed to me and now... he's dead. I'm going to stop writing before my salty tears ruin you.

Dear Journal, March 20,

I just had morning sickness, and Idid a pregnancy test. It was positive. I'm going to have a baby with the man who got killed in a shoot out!jerald and my kid is going to grow up with out a father!!I am so depressed, so so so depressed. I couldn't believe this. Inever wanted a kid, and after the love of my life died I get one. I'm crying so hard again, this is such a peice of shit!I swear I am ready to just kill someone...

~~**~~**~~**~~

That was the last post by a girl name Lilla, she killed herself that night. And she wrote one last thing.

" Iam going to be with the love of my and my soon to be kid."

She died from a knife, she slit her throat. Her life was over, she couldn't take the pain anymore. No one could. And no one helped her when she cried for help.


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