The Worst Man on Mars

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Science Fiction  |  House: CLOG
Hero. Legend. Role model. He is none of those.

Flint Dugdale, blunt Yorkshireman and reality TV show winner, seems an unlikely contender for First Man on Mars. The Right Stuff he is not. But the tragic death of the mission’s brave commander has created a vacancy which Dugdale, with his large frame and ‘persuasive personality’, has been quick to fill. He has put himself in charge of Britain’s first group of colonists to the Red Planet. With a place in History assured, Dugdale plans to see out the rest of the mission drinking lager, eating pies and watching his favourite sports on wide-screen TV.

But all is not well on the Martian surface. For five years an advance party of robots with evolving AI personalities have been building Botany Base. They are a long way behind schedule and have made some crucial dimensioning errors. So the base’s rooms are too small, the doors don’t fit, and the lift-shaft is too narrow for the space elevator that is to bring the humans down from their spaceship. Worse, the food supplies sent from Earth have mysteriously gone missing, the drinking-water is muddy, and the Polish builder bots have gone AWOL.

On the eve of the descent to the surface, Dugdale knows nothing of these problems. And he is also unaware that the ship’s scanners have detected living organisms two miles north of the base.

It seems there is Life down there. But will it be pleased to see him?

If you enjoy the first eight chapters the book is available here:

Table of Contents

The Back Seat Kids

Submitted: October 05, 2016

08:30, 24th March 2029 – 46, Culpepper Drive, Huddersfield, Yorkshire Whenever retired science teacher Malcolm Brimble got a ... Read Chapter

The King's Peach

Submitted: October 05, 2016

20:21 The previous day – Mayflower III The spaceship’s Assembly Room was unusually packed. Mission Commander Flint Dugdale w... Read Chapter

The Impotence of Being Harnessed

Submitted: October 05, 2016

Throughout history, the men and women selected by Fate to make truly remarkable, epoch-making discoveries have not always been the m... Read Chapter

Permission Impossible

Submitted: October 05, 2016

Lieutenant Willie Warner’s excitement escalated as he adjusted the sensitivity and resolution of the scanners. “Whoa! These ... Read Chapter

The Hanging Gaskets of BioDome

Submitted: October 05, 2016

23rd March 2029, BioDome, Botany Base, Mars High above the floor of the BioDome, a solitary gasket-fitting robot named Ero (shor... Read Chapter

Fagin It

Submitted: October 05, 2016

The large electronic eye, set high in the wall at the front of the site office watched the assorted robots crowding around the trest... Read Chapter

Meet the Flint Stoners

Submitted: October 05, 2016

Mission Commander Flint Dugdale sat, legs wide apart, in front of the large wall-screen, probing a fat finger between his teeth to d... Read Chapter

Something Picky This Way Comes

Submitted: October 05, 2016

In the site office HarVard had morphed his hologram avatar into the form of a saint. Not any particular saint, but a generic holy fi... Read Chapter