I do not believe suicide is selfish

I have lost people I Love to suicide...It hurts...Its hurts a LOT....Do I wish they were still here, yes I do, more than anything...However would I want them here if they are completely miserable? NO way.... Have I been suicidal...yes...Do I wish I had the courage to take my life...sometimes yes....Am I grateful that I didn't suceed in killin' myself...sometimes yes...Do I think Suicide is selfish...No I don't. I may be pro-life, but I am even more pro-choice. I believe if you truly want to kill yourself, than you should have a choice to.....I battle suicide thoughts quite often, more than I even bother to let on. I have lost some of the most important people in the world to me, due to suicide. Do I believe that they were selfish, or a coward? Hell fucking NO! They were in Pain, they truly believed that the ONLY way to escape their pain, was to leave this world forever. I Love them, and I know I will always have them in my hearts, sometimes that is enough to get through losing them, and sometimes its no where near enough. Do I hate them for leaving me? Well, I don't necessary "hate" them, because hate is TOO strong of a word, am I mad at them, well sometimes yes I am, but I have to accept the fact that they were in pain, and they took it into their own hands. I wish more than anything they were still here, however, I do not hate them, and I do not think they are cowards for killing themselves, nor think they were weak, or selfish, they were in pain, and they acted on it.