Love.is.no.game.

Reads: 547  | Likes: 0  | Shelves: 0  | Comments: 6

Status: Finished  |  Genre: Poetry  |  House: Booksie Classic

Its about Love, Though this is one I wrote a year ago!

Love is like an eternal flame.

Love aint no joke

Love aint no game

You say that you love me

You say that you care

But all that I see is your blank expressionless stare

You tell me you need me

Is that all you have to say

Well I dont need you so you can go your own way!


Submitted: August 26, 2008

© Copyright 2022 Courtnee25. All rights reserved.

Add Your Comments:

Comments

jerkulez

Nicely composed! elegant and simple

Love is game!
love is need, is selfish!
love is to have, to want!

then u find out later on this is not how love should be!

Tue, August 26th, 2008 12:47pm

Author
Reply

Yea thanks, this one's like a year old, I thought I would post it to see how many insults I got :P lol

Tue, August 26th, 2008 9:22am

StephiAM

I loved that poem

Wed, August 27th, 2008 1:38am

Author
Reply

Thanks!

Tue, August 26th, 2008 6:40pm

Gaarababylove12300

Yes, I like this as well. I hate peeps who just go for one thing. They say they care but their eyes betray them. I absolutely love it too. I love alot of things... Lol!

Sat, August 30th, 2008 12:48am

Author
Reply

lol I see, thanks for answering so many of my writings! :P

Fri, August 29th, 2008 5:59pm

Nicky36

love it. this is great!

Thu, September 11th, 2008 3:35pm

Author
Reply

thank you!

Thu, September 11th, 2008 5:05pm

Crazeh

Courtnee, to begin with you start this poem with one of the most overused similes known to man: "Love is like an eternal flame". To me, this foreshadowed a cliche of a poem, which it proved to be. While you chose the free-verse form, you restricted your poetry by implementing the uncertain rhyming scheme: ABACDDCEE. In free-verse poetry, if you feel you should rhyme, internal rhyming is perhaps a better choice, otherwise you are straying into poem-territory that is outdated and boring. When I read poetry, I want to be able to make my own interpretations from what I've read. Your phrases were stated, predictable and lacked poetic technique denying any interpretation at all. The worst thing about this poem, however, was its theme and the puerile nature in which you approached it. I would estimate that around 80% of booksie.com members have written about 'love' or 'lost love' or a 'betrayal of love' in exactly the same manner you have. If you want to transcend the burial ground of overused writing and become an author or poet (as you allege is your wish in your profile) you should be striving to create something that is unique, individual and well-written. You do none of these. By following what so many others have done before simply depreciates your writing ability. Using more poetic techniques, making your writing more ambiguous and avoiding cliche themes are the things you SHOULD be doing. This poem is amateur. Start by reading a guide on how to write maybe?
Good luck with your endeavours, Crazeh.

Mon, September 15th, 2008 4:01am

Author
Reply

You know what? Your answer is what I have wanted for the longest time. All of my months on booksie I have had people say I love it! when commenting on a poem they dont take the time to read it over and truely help the author understand my poem. this poem actually was written off head so It is not one of my best. But thank you for your honest feedback and I will be sure to take it seriously. Thanks!

Mon, September 15th, 2008 5:22pm

Courtnee25

But Crizeh? Maybe you dont like this poem, but those ppl above you do so yea.

Tue, September 16th, 2008 10:53am

Facebook Comments

Other Content by Courtnee25