My Swedish Bride

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Humor  |  House: Booksie Classic
Loneliness and desperation cause the narrator to abandon his last vestiges of pride and self-respect and seek a mate in an unorthodox manner.

Submitted: January 04, 2012

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Submitted: January 04, 2012

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My Swedish Bride

I ordered a flatpack woman

Received her in the mail

Put her together straight away

Without the use of screws or nails.

The instructions were quite simple

“Don’t be so rough! Be more gentle!”

I took all my strength and patience

I swear I near went mental.

At last she stood before me

A utility of plain beauty

Both functional and practical

And warrantied to duty.

We took the Volvo to Ikea

To pick up the kids we need

I only wanted one or two

They were reduced so she got three.

So my flatpack woman

And I became a family

I know love’s not eternal

But I’ve got twelve months guarantee.


© Copyright 2017 Craig Davison. All rights reserved.

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