Addiction To Him

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Romance  |  House: Booksie Classic
Is it possible to be addicted to a person?

Submitted: June 02, 2008

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Submitted: June 02, 2008

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Addiction To Him

Is it possible to be addicted to a person? Maybe it doesnt throw your body into physical abusive devastation like other addictions, but sometimes it feels like it. The constant force of your thoughts bent upon that person, the kick in the stomach when your body needs them, the instant relief from getting your fix of them. This isnt love. Love doesnt create this prolonged battering of body, mind and soul. Love can produce happiness and tenderness. Addiction to him is not happy or tender. It is exhausting and raw, yet oddly welcomed. I welcome him back into my life despite knowing the devastation it will cause to both of us. I welcome him back into my body to satisfy my cravings, despite knowing we will always need another fix.

His effect over me is abusive and dangerous because I could lose myself in him. I could enter a state of mind like a powerful trip. Coming down from the trip he induces wracks my body with physical pain but all I can think of is the being in that place once again. It is a terrible yet beautiful place that I fear I will never escape from. Through my veins he flows, like the cure to the disease he himself creates. I dont want to enter that place again and for a long time I was clean. However it struck at a moment of weakness and we again enter that world of lies, guilt and shame. We both allow the addiction to flow over us and grasp the heat it produces against us. It is precious and it is ours. But it will destroy us. Again and again it will destroy us. But the addiction is ours and it is something we will always share.

Yes, it is possible to be addicted to a person. He enters me and devastates me. I allow him to flow in and out of me, and it leaves an empty shell, a ghost of a person. But I need it. I am compelled to want it. It will never leave me.


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