Diary of a Suicide Victim

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Other  |  House: Booksie Classic
A challenge story

Submitted: March 19, 2009

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Submitted: March 19, 2009

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Diary of a Suicide Victim
February 9, 2009 (Monday)
Today was an ok day, nothing new happened. Damien and I went out to dinner and then the movies. We went and saw “Carrie” and I’ll tell you what, that was one messed up movie! I don’t think I have ever seen a movie as messed up as “Carrie”. We went back over to my house and as usual my parents weren’t there. I let Damien come in the house, finally, and we hung out on the couch. I could tell that he wanted to do “it” with me, but as usual, I was too scared. After about 20 minutes of awkward silence he left, and I made some dinner.
My parents didn’t come home until 3:32am the next morning, drunk.
February 10, 2009 (Tuesday)
I woke up to the sounds of parents fighting, over me; my dad said I needed to get out of the house and go find shit to do, not sit in the house all day and read. My mom screamed back at him that letting me stay in the house was fine, it kept me out of trouble and away from the riff raff. To my mom’s dismay, I left the house, and as I did I could still hear them yelling at each other, but now about different things.
I walked down town and towards the park; it was a nice day out so I figured I could sit under my favorite tree and read. When I got to the park there were a lot of kids there from school. Some girls were lying on blankets, soaking up the sun in their bikinis, there were guys playing touch football, and people throwing a Frisbee around. I hoped that there would be no one under my tree, and no one was.
I was sitting under my tree when out of nowhere a football landed right next to me. I looked around and saw one of the guys playing football running up to me, it took me a few seconds before I realized it was Damien. "Hand me the ball freak." He had said to me, I gave him the ball, feeling hurt. Whathad I done to deserve that? I asked myself. I figured I would give him a day to cool down before I called him.
February 11, 2009 (Wednesday)
I called Damien but there was no answer, I left a message saying “hey Damien it’s me, Selena, I was just calling to say hi and ask what you were doing later. Well, call me back. Bye.” I decided that instead of waiting by the phone all day, I would help mom with house cleaning. I started out by doing the laundry, washing everyone’s clothes, folding them, and then distributing them to all of the bedrooms.
At around 1:30 that afternoon I finally got a phone call from Damien. Our conversation went as follows;
“Hello?”
“Hey, this is Damien, is Selena there?”
“You’re speaking to her; thanks for calling me back Damien!”
“Why did you call me?”
“I wanted to talk to you. Is that a problem?”
“Yeah, it is, I don’t talk to freaks.”
“What is your problem? I thought we were supposed to be friends? Friends don’t treat each other that way.”
“I really don’t care how friends are supposed to treat each other. I am not your friend, never was and never will be. You could die tomorrow and I wouldn’t care. Don’t call me, don’t talk to me, don’t think about me, and don’t even look at me. You are nothing but a misfit, a freak.”
After that he hung up the phone and I just sat there, stunned, hurt, and confused. I didn’t hear my mother come in and I didn’t feel her arms embrace me as I cried for hours.
February 12, 2009 (Thursday)
Today was no different than yesterday, I stayed in my room all day and lay in bed, crying and trying to stop crying. My mom came in a few times trying to get me to talk, but I never said anything. She stopped coming in when she saw it was pointless, then came in one more time, but that was to drop off dinner. I just lay there and didn’t eat it.
February 13, 2009 (Friday)
I am going to die. I know it and so I am writing a letter to my family. I will also write a copy of the letter to my family in here.
Dear Family,
I just wanted you to know that you are not to blame for what has happened to me. There is no one to blame. I have been depressed for a long while now and figured that it would be better for me to just go and live in heaven. I love you both so much, please don't blame yourselves and dad, please help mom get over my death. I am in a better place now, and I am finally happy. Happier than I have been in a long time.
Love,
Selena
February 14, 2009 (Saturday)
On the 5 O'clock news, channel 3, there was a news report on the suicide of a 17-year-old female. This is how it went:
"Many people were shocked today. Earlier this morning the body of 17-year-old Selena Anderson was found in her bedroom. Selena was found by her mother after she didn't come down for dinner. Mrs. Anderson went up to her daughter's room to find Selena hanging from a rope attached to her ceiling. Not knowing if she was already dead she called the authorities and was soon informed that her daughter has been dead for at least 3 hours. A suicide note was found on the bed, addressed to her parents. In the note she told her parents that she was in a better place and that she was finally happy. She also told her parents they were not to be blamed. More on the suicide later tonight on the 11 O' clock news………."


© Copyright 2017 Cressida Vladimir. All rights reserved.

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