Poem by: Cris Ryen Blakeney
Submitted: August 26, 2012
I find glee,
when it's we,
you and me,
I feel so free,
that's why you see,
in one two three,
and beneath that tree,
me on my knee,
proposing to thee.
And you agree.
© Copyright 2016 Cris Ryen Blakeney. All rights reserved.
awesome, though I DO wish you made it a bit longer, but it's your poem. you probably should think about writing more romantic stuff. I mean, who knows? maybe you'll do great...
I ran out of rhyming words, so this is it, haha. And romantic stuff, is not my stuff, haha. I am really bad when it comes to it... Thank you so much for reading and commenting!!!
love how it flows, :)
Thank you so much! :D
Oooo i loveee the rhyme scheme!!!!! Lovely words too :) hey come check out my profile! Im promoting you :)
Oh my gosh! Thank you so much!!! I'm so honored!!! :D You didn't have to do that.
Ahh, that is too gorgeous. I love the simplicity of it and the structure in a woman's figure too. Nice work!
thank you so much!!!!!!! :D
LOooovved the Ryme scheme!!! Such a fun and bright poem!!! hehe* Romantic......
Thank you so much! Love is not my forte or however that is spelled. Thank you so much for reading and commenting this!
Although, it's aan extremely quick read...It's a masterpiece! Skillfully constructed! Well done!
Thank you so much!!!!! :D
sweet and simple .. nice work. and one gudthing about you is to express your each view by your writes.. doesn't matter tht it is short or long .. you're a very very good writer .. you'd inspired me to write a lot . :-) .. have a good day :) :)
I am going to have an amazing day after reading your sweet comment! I'm so honored that I inspire you! Thank you so much for taking the time to read and comment this poem!!! :D
Gosh, what a simple and sweet poem. It made me smile! :) I love the flow of the words. I read some poems today and they had absolutely no rhyme in it. I know poems don't have to have that, but honestly, I think it's better if the poem actually flows. Nicely done.
Thank you so much again!!! :D
Liked this one too :)
Haha, thank you so much! :D
What a wonderful rhythm!
Thank you so much!!! :D
this is kind of different but it's cool how it came together.
Haha, I am different, but I'm glad you still like it! :D
Impressive poem, good use of the 2 and we and the us variations.
Thank you so much! :DDDDDDD
I am oddly amused... it all rhymed and I just somehow found that really cool. A very unique poem! :D
Thank you! I really can't write about love, but oh well, haha! :D
Indeed this piece is short. Rhyme of course has its limitations, but with that said, you managed to do fairly well with what you had. As predominantly a Rhyming Poet, myself, it took me years to be able to extend my knowledge of words, and perhaps with practise you can too.
I find playing with words is something that teaches a lot, and can give you a fun exercise in order to allow your next piece to be far more evolved.
Although it was no best seller, it was certainly not bad. I have read a few pieces of yours now, and feel that you have huge potential to do well in your writing, but that you unfortunately seem to sometimes hold back. Perhaps this is through fear of letting go, or another reason, but I would like to ask you to let go now, because once you do, you will find that the words flow through you easily, and like water. This had a slightly but not overly, awkward feel to it, because of that, and I would love to see you write to your truest potential which you know deep down you have. Forget worrying about grammar and editing for a moment, and just pick up the pen. Write what you FEEL and do not hold back, for it is about EXPRESSING yourself, and that is not a bad thing, so don't feel bad for doing it-HOWEVER it turns out. One you practise this more and more, you may find the ability comes for you to be able to extend your work, and to ensure it is much less awkward, and much more emotional.
This as a love poem, I felt that you had more to say, and I waited but alas the words never came, so I was left wanting. I feel that you have much passion within you, but perhaps on this day you found it difficult to express for whatever reason, maybe you were slightly distracted by getting it right-there is no wrong. Just Poetry.
You have so much passion and talent within you I can see it wanting to escape your pen. You just need a push, and that comes from letting go. Allow yourself to make mistakes, and go for it.
I very much look forward to reading more of your work, and by no means are you to take this as negative. I look forward to seeing more from you in the future.
Let the pen possess you.
You really do get me, haha. Love is my worst type of genre to write, so I totally understand. And no, I am not professional yet and yes I have many things to improve on and I will. I'm going to school for writing, so just wait, it will improve, haha, and you will be the first person I let know, okay? Thank you for the comment! :D
I don't want to say this is typical, for you could look at this like a typical sappy love poem, but this isn't because you apply a few decent rhymes...but it is short and, I sort of have to question the title: it doesn't seem to have a whole lot of inference to the poem...geez, I'm sorry, how bloody snobbish I sound...don't mind my comments! Nice poem!
I don't have an appropriate title, I know, I just don't know what to make it. Any suggestions?
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