A Plan Gone Wrong

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Humor  |  House: Booksie Classic
What started out as a simple task, turned into a battle which I would never have expected

Submitted: August 08, 2017

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Submitted: August 08, 2017



This was definitely not the plan. What I had assembled was monstrous and it did not correspond one bit to the instruction leaflet of the "IKEA coffee-table 128-plexplus" which I had challenged myself to construct. There I was, stranded, amongst the sea of nuts and screws, whilst I painfully stabilized the left leg of the table with my right hand and chocked the right leg with my left hand.

My legs were conjoined in a effort to keep the pieces together whether that meant my butt was flat against the floor or not. All my muscles, from the powerful thighs in my legs to the sensitive eyelids protecting my eyeballs, were contracted in a burn.

I spotted the front of the booklet in my sights, as the pages inside spoke and glared back at me whilst they roared, 'YOU can never build ME', they laughed and flicked as the storm around me grew fiercer, "YOU could NEVER build the most BASIC COFFEE TABLE". My neck strained as the wind around me screeched louder and the pieces flew around me as the tempest grew to the size of the hurricane. The pieces hit me like bullets and the slap of the wind on my cheeks grew harder and unexpectedly hurled me violently against the wall! I grabbed the screwdriver and fixed my pose ready to counter attack the fight put up by that creature that was the table. It stood up. It was a beast arising from its darkness. It growled, as the coal black clouds thundered and the lightning bolts were thrown. But I stood firm and like a lightning bolt of my own, my arm shot through the rain and hail and plunged the screwdriver into the screw inside the wooden flesh of the table. It screeched and shrieked and screamed as I twisted and dug the blade of the screwdriver further and further and further deep into the core of gargantuan.

It had been done. It was over. Through sweat and tears I had now attached the first leg of the IKEA coffee table. I laid there panting, like a soldier next to my predator; the dragon that I had slain.

Now, my wife entered the battlescene. She took a good look at the table and said
"Oh honey! You put the leg upside down"...

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