A Case for Marshmallows

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Editorial and Opinion  |  House: Booksie Classic
This essay sort of became about broader topics, but it's supposed to be about why we all should make our own hardened marshmallows for cereal. Don't let Lucky Charms dictate the dimensions of your sugar consumables!

Submitted: January 07, 2012

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Submitted: January 07, 2012

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Since the conception of complex life-forms consisting of multiple biological systems that work to orchestrate this concert we define simply as living, the primary process that life existed to perpetuate the existence of was itself.  Survival has been (and still is, for non-sentient creatures) the single goal of an organism.  Although some animals actively search for intoxicants, such as horses consuming locoweed or jaguars eating the local Banisteriopsis caapi for hallucinations, only humans search the farthest reachable corners of the planet to find new pharmacons to exploit, either for profit or for their unique stimulation.  Before the modernization of human life, wherein the scientific branch of pharmacology was developed, even sugar, a commonplace household necessity, was regarded as a drug.  Not only was it not necessary for survival, but it also gave the temporary burst of energy known as a “sugar rush.”  Now that we have transcended the survival basics, such developments as cereal with marshmallows have come about, and it is because of this comfortable ability to experiment with such things that I write.

The typical box of Lucky Charms contains about 300 individual marshmallow shapes, each shape about one-and-a-half square centimeters.  The appeal of such uniform and colorful cereal appurtenances could be their enchanting theme, or the challenge they present in trying to eat the somnambulatory oats while avoiding the sweet morsels.  Most likely, these small packages of saccharine joy contain a drug long known to mortal man.  Therefore, why shouldn’t typical, separately bought marshmallows afford the consumer a similar taste of bliss?

If the satisfying crunch of cereal-brand marshmallows is the reason for their preference, then the issue is moot.  White marshmallows, if left over a source of heat, then dried out will possess the same hallowed texture.  For the sake of this point, I have eaten soft, reasonably flaccid marshmallows along with a bland grain cereal, and the results were not disappointing.  With a slight bit of self-efficiency, one can create a cereal to rival Marshmallow Matey with ease.

This self-made cereal can be a god-send to those living in the United Kingdom, where Lucky Charms have been banned since the 1990s.  Although websites like www.cerealmarshmallows.com offer entire bags of the market’s favorite hardened sugar shapes, the production of a personal cereal for a nominal price should be more than sufficient to induce some superior few.


© Copyright 2017 Crosby Allison. All rights reserved.

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