Trapped Inside "Him"

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Poetry  |  House: Booksie Classic
This is a poem written around 3am when I couldn't sleep expressing some of my feelings towards my gender and sex (gender being my mind which is female and sex being my body which is currently male for those who don't know the difference between those terms)I hope that this can help people to understand better the emotions of people with Gender Identity Disorder.

Submitted: November 11, 2013

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Submitted: November 11, 2013

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Streams of light, wrenching open these eyes
My gaze casting around this dawn lit room
No, not my gaze, born into a life of lies
These eyes are not my own

Each cumbersome step out of bed
Each action of "His"
I see them as my own but my body is as lead
Each sensation fake, mocking and tormenting this...
This true me, trapped in a cage of blood and sinew
Calling out to this body that binds me

Why was "He" born and not me?
Why must it be through "His" eyes that I see?
Why did he hide me for so long?
Why is it even now I cannot be free?

19 years I have waited
How many more until my freedom is fated?
How long must I weather those who hate me?
How long until my reflection can smile back at me?

When will my lungs taste free air?
When will it be my eyes and none other's I share?
When will my hands feel the warmth of the world?
When can I smile on my own...

Looking through these eyes...
Feeling these senseless hands...
"He" holds me prisoner
"He" gets to live and I can't even cry...
I hate "Him"...


© Copyright 2018 CrystalRainbow. All rights reserved.

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