Bird of time

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Memoir  |  House: Booksie Classic
A Journey in to the world of your inner mind,
One man goes on a quest to figure out why he's trapped in what he thinks is a dream, what will chris do what will he find, will you discover something true to you?

Submitted: June 17, 2015

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Submitted: June 17, 2015

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Molded into something I've never known before..
The human that was me.. 7 months ago has faced something I could never forseen, given a chance to understand what we think is reality. Just cuz a clock says 3:32 doesent really mean it's truth. Even threw everyone of these trials I've driven myself close to death, I felt as if my soul had somehow gotten 100's of years in such a fraction of this life. And in many ways more that one I've died. Pushing myself to obtain the deepest truths in ones soul so unbelievable, so pure, forever stamped on the only memory that could never be unseen or forgotten. But for some reason I can't exactly explain, what I've experienced? so far it has me captured in the beauty of this ultimate magic show that actually for once wasn't  a staged television show. It was truth for a change. Energy given life the opportunity to just simply be. But with all the beauty from that there has to be a balance, some unity. Just as a older person dies from old age, a child is born halfway across the planet. Balance... This is a story of a trial I had faced not to long ago. And the struggle with the balance of time. Enjoy.. Chris. 

Hidden, but lies in plane sight. A dark grey stone strikes you at first glance as catchy. But as I looked on the grey stone seem to get gloomy as if it always is rainy damp, and a chill to the back of the neck that makes you almost jump from your seat. A certain darkness that dwells within those forsaken walls, the sadness and down right darkness almost gave it a weird glow in cloud covered January. I never had a clue about The terrible Entity's that have been trapped within the blood mingled stony grey fortress from the new age. I made my own boat from my troubled past planed to send me into a literal abyss filled with every kind of enemy or ghostly demonic hate filled energy, hopped on the emotions of pain sorrow and depression that fed off the occupants, willing or unwilling they had no clue truly were they were.. But not all of the energy was evil, but there was way more misery then happy love and joy. Forged of concrete, rebar, steel doors from your toes to the ceiling, it's so easy to get in that it seems the fortress brings the people with magic. The same can be said about leaving that god forsaken hole.... I entered as any other man big or small would, instantly I had a sudden feeling of dread, and constant paranoia, and a fear I had not expected to fell let alone show. The constant threat of other people, that were like me aren't the greatest citizens to be trapped with for days let alone months. Everyone I met seemed like a trapped animal trying to escape, but knew the only way out from here is fight or die. While this day went on in dread. I began growing angry at myself. Mad that I had allowed this event and visitation to happen as if seemingly at ease with one kick to the head. A couple days had passed. When I had arrived I was drunk and physically tired, I rested with the help of the somewhat coherent medical staffs detox pills. That night I awoke in a  cold sweat. The kind of cold sweat that feels like having seizures because your frozen to the core. I had a 3 by 3 cell with a small vertical window as almost to tease you with just a small strand of sunlight. As I woke from bed I immeaditly rose to find someone to tell me have many days it had been, but no one made a sound. Still kinda drugged up from the medication I peaked threw the small slit in the window to find out it's still dark outside. So I went back to bed, silence, then a faint clip clop of the guards footsteps was off in the distance as he passed, breathing a sigh of relief and drifted back to sleep. I started dreaming vividly I saw hourglasses of all shapes and sizes, some full some running sand, and some appeared as if the sand was falling backwards, then I appear in a dried up field with patches of brown dried grass clearly dead from what looks like a horrible drought, I scane this vast wasteland of barren fields. This ever present shadow caught my eye, so I look up a black bird with the appearance much like the size of a crow glides up down, then takes aim at what I thought was nest or pirch. As the bird landed it faced me and let a call as if it was calling for attention, as if saying in one loud caw "hey look at me" the bird left a weird silence as if was staring threw my soul. Then suddenly the bird flew off to the side, as if by almost leading me to something so I gathered myself and started in about the same direction, then like headlights in the dead of night I caught what looked to be a reflector. I hurried thinking this would get me out of this dream and wake up from this weird nightmare. As I get closer I start to get a long distance view of an object that looked like a jar... I get close and to my surprise it's an hourglass like the one in my dreams and next to the glass was a oblong crystal dark blue bowl. Amazed by the stunning beauty of the colors, I'm jolted by a loud woosh past my head I hurry back in one jump. The black bird as if mocking me at it's every glance and sudden craw it perched upon a slight pile of sand next to the jars. And then it hit me all at once, and I jumped from my bed, I wipe the cold sweat from my neck and step out to check the time. People were staring at me, some came up to me and asked if I was feeling ok, I replied I'm doing alright and went on my way towards the clock. Strangely I felt drawn to see this clock and make sure I had checked the time. There it was, an odd rust colored clock intertvinded like copper tubing made too look like the sun and mood, with bright orange/yellow artificial like sun and moon beams at each one of the hour markers. Suddenly I'm tapped on the shoulder by a mid50s short fellow, he smiles then said "can't you see the numbers on that there it says 3:57, you know that's P.M right with a slight grin on his face. Somewhat annoyed by his happyness I replyed with a somewhat sarcamic "no way I thought P.M ment it was dark out side. To my surprise he enjoyed my remark... His face turned to a subtle seriousness, then replyed. "My boy don't you know how long you've been asleep? "Um ya two days right we'll maby three, I drifted in and out, wasent really hungry so I dident get up for chow." Looking stunned the old man replyed, "no no it's be two weeks they had to inject you with nutrients, so you would die from starvation and dehydration. In somewhat disbelief I tryed to understand how that could be, I thought I was just in a weired what seemed like ten miniute dream. Suddenly it dawned on my the hourglasses in my dream had something to do with how long I had been in a coma like state. I turned to ask the old man how he knew this but he was gone, I shouted "hey old man where are you" but all I received was a look of disturbing the peace like stare from the rest of the people doing there daily routines, I looked back at the clock, right in plain view the clock shown time hadent even moved a single minute, a cold chill ran down my neck,3:57 a.m on the nose just as I saw it, for what seemed to be ten miniutes. I headed back to my room to try and comprehend what just happened. Did I skip time? Was I dead? Was this some kind of sick prank or joke. I stare blankly out the window as if looking up to the sky the answers would come to me or someone would come bursting in laughing saying we got you but no, just cold silence, the occasional yell from random rooms, or the rattle of correctional employees. I sat down hard on the bed thinking I'm crazy, I put my Hands over eyes to rub them I let out a small tear into my palms making it look as if I was just rubbing my eyes. That moment I realized trying to hold in that your scared this time and holding back crying makes the saddest sound of all. Right there I realized you can hold in tears no matter how hard you try, it sounds sadder, the room had a weird echo for being such a small room it amplified my failed attempts to not show weakness. I thought I felt what I thought was the air condition unit blow a cool breeze. I uncovered my eyes expecting to see a crowd of people laughing but when I opened my eyes. Stunned speechless I was in the field from my dreams. This time their was a little more greener grass, a full grown tree, I shout is anyone here?..  A small echo of my own voice made this place seem like complete loneliness. I got up and started whaling looking for any signs of something, just loud shouts out to what seems like miles and miles of fields. It was like I was stuck on a loop going to the same place then nothing. I sat to take a break. Then from out of nowhere the black bird appeared from nowhere. It landed but five steps from where I sat to rest. I looked it in it's dead black eyes, nothing not even a craw. I started curseing at the bird blaming this on him... I wonder how much time had gone by this time surly it was a long time. At this point I don't even care about time. I dident feel like I was aging there must be more I thought. I closed my eyes for a second and there It was the hourglass from my first dream, the black bird sat next to the blue bowl and started putting what looked like sand or really fine dirt... Each time the bird put sand in the bowl it would disappear... And appear inside the hour glass.. I sat for what seemed like two or more years all reality and time was shattered for me at this point, the bird would leave and three sleeps later he would deliver sand, the hourglass has only a but a couple handfuls of sand. minutes as I could comprehend equaled out to be hours, and as I sat their watching the crow leave for a grain of sand, I started conversations with myself driven by madness, I started diggin, with my bare hands months went by two broken fingers only to dig what to me might be a way out now could possable a grave, I was so tired From all the digging I quit. one by one as the days went by I noticed something every time the crow dropped a grain of sand and flew and dropped grain after grain. I figured out one single grain equaled one day in lost time somehow warped into my mind that time was controled by something as simple as a bird, and one grains of sand. And then it hit me, something, someone or some being of different design wanted to watch me suffer, go mad. And even go as far as not even knowing I dug my own grave with my bear hands. I fell back and had this uncontroable laughter come over me. I thought what's so great about that other world anyways, you age, you have to eat to life. Hear in this place time is dramatically slower. All the meditation I done on the meaning of life and to find new answers, to get the truth. And whoever sent me here to find that, I was to worried about time and where I was, that I dident realize I was granted time to sit and find my nirvana inside. The bird came from nowhere this time and gave the loudest cry I had Hurd from it yes, I looked up to him perched standing tall. And whispered, I'm sorry my friend I cursed at you for bringing me hear, I know now you were just giving me the time I needed to find all the answers that dwell inside everyone of us if you take the time, search in stride, you'll find what's truly Devine. The blue bowl lit in blinding shades of light the hourglass flew from my hand and combine to make a blinding light one like I've never seen warmth glow. I was blown back by an explosion. When I recovered from the explosion, I found my self sitting up in the hospitals bed, a doctor and a nurse came charging in as if the were watching me sleep waiting for me to wake. "Mr.shaffer ahh I see you've finially are awake you know you had us kinda worried. You fell asleep and decided not to wake up. I replied "I feel great doctor, fell I like I slept for days"... Haha the doctor grinning says " ya you've been asleep for 3 weeks and 8 days guy...   I give a quick remark "if only you really knew how long I've been away you wouldn't believe me... Doc"s expression is a confused one that's for sure. Two days later I was discharged home. A changed man, reserved,waiting for answers to come when the time is right. And not over thinking this world that houses us. 


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Memoir love dark death depression colors god drunk air emotions misery joy life single world tears magic pain man evil short story lost medical home experienced happy alone night feeling demonic hand eyes laughter nightmare hate loneliness aging moment beauty lies weird people bear darkness mind dreams fight self break child cold sadness gone born boy reality simple die fear tree blue frozen voice steel memory soul kick clue mood broken grave help crazy wonder feel energy cloud moon light forever leave nothing sky sun past dream change truth thought forgotten sound friend sleep starvation reason laughing thinking age shadow glass sorrow sick cant tear angry scared giving blood matter growing struggle peace chance away confused waiting head believe start paranoia close making brown said wanted bright coma watch care days eye search answers meaning died daily escape black human kind staring tired attention crying cursed dead hole mad surprise wake abyss nest rest grey hear bird second present clock realize realized madness myself inside trapped must shattered next needed cry filled sand footsteps side calling terrible forsaken dreaming silence knew rested passed yes planet everyone understand random someone ten expression joke breeze ive greatest rainy always never aim ever sight window weakness distance medication relief trials couple hands ago pills devine state let hospitals come looking signs headed within hours outside person stone cell received before three houses started event once odd takes pure cool trial sunlight leaving truths guy give echo hidden balance grin face breathing glance try years fed done annoyed allowed dwell seem eat unity disturbing shapes sorry ones television mean tall trying tease happyness hold walls dread room opportunity troubled rust enemy running sounds call closed sweat looks feels artificial glow bed falling animal rose smiles shout ways changed nurse full pushing expecting wasteland yellow forged says doc great jump plane jumped flew looked asleep field barren grown suffer dies truly chris loud watching failed gave show doing own condition sit routines shouts five miles warmth hungry older kinda explain far constant hit ultimate boat explosion crystal colored knowing bare entitys ok doctor awake holding entered rattle leading crowd across worried opened hurry felt complete deepest caught headlights check stare design grass mr enjoy closer doors horrible attempts orange ask chill speechless seriousness concrete tell fine lit shades disappear meditation wasnt granted nirvana dirt steps hour fell step upon dropped numbers faint sigh ya ghostly reserved later shoulder conversations threat crow sleeps core object alright seems hourglass thats unseen ran drought stuck minutes towards somehow ment whats figured detox months asked jars physically direction seat fingers toes minute driven captured visitation neck view seen blow weeks hey strikes youve subtle grain plain send makes wouldnt anyone moved rubbing rooms actually met enjoyed putting sat happened nose saying covered dawned clearly sudden nowhere quick standing replied fields drawn sent arent exactly bringing somewhat youll known given drugged brings sitting haha discharged sizes rub seemed turned january began appear slept quit disbelief catchy citizens threw slit warped amazed loop appeared employees appearance stony ease prank ceiling tryed vast slight gloomy fortress recovered guards strand noticed yell remark simply bowl happen cuz stunning vertical um uncovered saddest wipe unit suddenly shown certain expected unbelievable whoever backwards weired jar grinning controled blinding comprehend stunned instantly faced dried fellow markers halfway blown dug willing literal gathered damp skip dig dehydration blankly checked arrived anyways clip bursting amplified awoke beams blaming caw charging chow coherent combine woke nutrients palms deliver whispered mocking mid perched landed seemingly copper shaffer oblong unwilling digging stride forseen shouted drifted pile stamped occupants inject gotten hurried staged tubing molded greener strangely occasional surly tapped patches fraction reflector whaling dwells sadder rebar loudest obtain ahh vividly diggin jolted slower correctional dramatically hopped grains seizures maby staffs doesent mingled planed immeaditly peaked clop hourglasses scane glides pirch woosh craw intertvinded replyed sarcamic wasent dident miniute hadent miniutes curseing handfuls equaled possable uncontroable hurd finially

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