feelings, really?

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Poetry  |  House: Booksie Classic
life...

Submitted: September 18, 2009

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Submitted: September 18, 2009

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do you ever feel empty, and wish it would end?
I'll tell you I don't, I'm good at pretend.
I've made it this far, and nobody knows
what I feel on the inside, I work hard not to show.
I'm smiles and grins, and thank you's and please,
if you knew me at all, I feel none of these.
the halo has broken, I'm no longer pure
why I pretend, I'm no longer sure

If I gave up on life, what would you do?
would you come along later and act like you knew.
would you moan and weep, and cry and pretend,
like you were there all along, like you were always my friend
I hate the whole world, only I know this secret,
I lie to you all, and this secret, I keep it
And yet I keep on going, the lie keeps on growing,
and all of this is hidden by the smile I am showing.

But If you look deeper, you won't like what you find
In the depths of my eyes, lie the horrors of my mind
the hate, the contempt, the anger you'll feel,
from a look in my eyes, but none of it's real
I told you I'm empty, these feelings are fake
if you knew the depths of this emotion, I bet that you'd break
emptiness is different than sorrow or hate,
it is an absence of feeling, a hell that won't wait

it's like being locked all alone, with nobody near
like spiders, or snakes, or whatever you fear.
it's like being ripped apart, from the inside out,
and if I had feelings, I'd scream and I'd shout
But smiles and grins, that's what I mean,
so do me a favor, and forget what you've seen.
Forget what I've written, none of it's true
look at this smile, I'm as happy as you


© Copyright 2018 IanJohnson. All rights reserved.

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