Twas This Morning When the Blackbird Sang

Reads: 498  | Likes: 0  | Shelves: 0  | Comments: 7

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Poetry  |  House: Booksie Classic

I woke early one morning and heard the Blackbird singing outside my window, which made me think of this.

Twas this morning when the blackbird sang
Unto his mate. His music rang
In soft and mellow harmony
And yet so clear it came to me.

Twas this morning when the blackbird spoke
Unto his mate. His song awoke
In her and I a longing so
Intense; to be free, to simply go.

Twas this morning when the blackbird called
Unto his mate. And all
His gentle words to her did say
Were ‘come with me and fly away.’


Submitted: April 05, 2012

© Copyright 2022 Cwester. All rights reserved.

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Comments

The Rebel Flamingo

I really like this. Original. Fix the grammar at the end. There should commas on, at least a few of those cut offs. I like the length a lot. People tend the think that poems should be long to make a point. But I really think you made it here. However, I'm not the biggest fan of the last stanza. It's a bit anti-climactic and doesn't flow as well as the first two. But I really do like it.

Sun, May 13th, 2012 6:43am

Author
Reply

Thank you very much for reading and commenting. As soon as i have someone sighted to help me i will do as you suggest. Much appreciated. By the way, the reason i need someone sighted is because the screen reader messes up in the editing box, much to my annoyance.

Sun, May 13th, 2012 1:06pm

Criss Sole

Very beautiful. It actually got me smiling. I really enjoyed it.

Fri, May 17th, 2013 5:34pm

Author
Reply

Thanks for reading and commenting. Much appreciated. I'm glad Thank you for reading and commenting. Much appreciated. I'm glad you enjoyed it.Tyou liked it.

Mon, May 20th, 2013 11:10am

Yume chan

Hey there^^, beautiful poem and sounds so romantic in a way. Love it:)

Sun, February 9th, 2014 4:38pm

Author
Reply

Thank you. This is quite an old one actually although I do still like it. I think my best poetry is now published in the Deal Writers Anthology, Word on the Peer.

Mon, February 10th, 2014 1:50pm

andreamay

I like this poem's simplicity and its classical form. Perfect verses for a song about longing for freedom, the kind of sometimes inexplicable desire which only birds can stir in us. They have no worries, no concerns, for our "heavenly Father feeds them" and cares for them. Who wouldn't like to ride on the wind as freely as they do?

Fri, June 20th, 2014 10:14am

Author
Reply

I am really glad that you liked this. I wrote it for a teacher once. I was inspired on the morning of her birthday and wrote it before school and then gave it to her. I often wonder if she still has it and if she ever reads it, or if it touched her as I wanted it to. I'm very glad you saw it in that way, because that is exactly how I saw it. The birds are free for God looks after them and how much more does He care for us, So much so that He provided a way for us to be free.

Fri, June 20th, 2014 9:41am

andreamay

I've been given so many things for my birthdays, things that sometimes have no use at all, but I still treasure them, for they all have love invested in them. If your teacher deserved such a gift she must be treasuring this poem as the most dear gift of all. Be sure of it.

Fri, June 20th, 2014 5:35pm

Author
Reply

I think she deserved it. She was my English teacher and she was very good at her job, as well as being kind and generally helpful.

Sun, June 22nd, 2014 11:22am

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