Christmas Day Confusion

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Humor  |  House: Booksie Classic

A short, and humorous, (I hope), story about jumping to conclusions, or believing the unbelievable. Well maybe it's about both. You be the judge.

As we open this scene we see is a big white farmhouse with a copper-coated metal roof, and there is a cop-car parked in the gravel covered driveway.

There is a middle aged woman in a gingham dress, green and red, and from the looks of the stains on her cheeks, she has been crying. The woman is clinging to the arm of a man wearing Blue-jeans and a Budweiser T-shirt, her husband.

The man in the Budweiser T-shirt is T. J. Rivers, and he is talking to a non-uniformed police officer about the damage to their farmhouse's brand-new copper roof.

The detective asked, "Were you or your wife home when the damage occurred, Mr. Rivers?"

"No, we were at a family gathering for Christmas Eve.

It was about a hundred mile drive home so we decided to stay at my sister's house overnight. Then we got an early start, driving home, this morning.

But when we arrived we found all this damage. Just look at that roof!

That copper roof didn't come cheap and the darned thing is supposed to last a lifetime; but just look at it, hoof-prints everywhere!"

"Hoof-prints, you mean like horses?" questioned Detective Price.

T. J. replied," What in Sam's Hill would horses be doing on my roof? I'm talking Reindeer, Detective, Santa's Reindeer! Who else would land on a roof on Christmas morning?"

The Detective tried to reason with the distort man, and his weeping wife, but he could not seem to get a word in edgewise.

T. J. interrupted him by saying, "I know what you’re going to say Detective. You cops always try to pass the buck off on someone else so you don't have to investigate. Or you just don't want to serve a summons to that Jolly Old Fat Man.

You always ask if we have insurance, or you just tell us to turn it into our insurance; but that just cost us higher rates.

That bearded burglar has got to pay, toys or no toys, he has to pay! He can't just go around trashing peoples roofs! 

Passing the buck and sugarcoating these malicious cases of rampant vandalism has got to stop, today.

I want to file an official complaint and I want you to investigate this matter thoroughly!"

"But Mr. Rivers, I have investigated and I can assure you that Santa did not damage your roof.

You see, a fast moving Hail Storm passed through this area yesterday afternoon. And I'm guessing that you and your wife were well out of the area by then.

Most of the hail that came down was the size of baseballs and they did damage across a narrow swatch of the county. Just look at my police car, the body looks like someone took hammers to the finish."

T. J. scratched his head and asked, "You mean Santa and his Reindeer didn't land on my roof?"

The Detective replied with a half hidden snicker, "I doubt that very much."

At that moment, after blowing her nose, Mrs. Rivers stated, “See Theodore, I told you that your ill temper had put you on Santa's naughty list. That is why Santa hasn't come to this house sense the kids moved away. It's all your fault!"

T. J. rolled his eyes and made a moaning sound as Mrs. Rivers resumed her crying.

As for Detective Price, he made a hasty retreat."





Submitted: November 05, 2018

© Copyright 2021 D. Thurmond aka JEF. All rights reserved.

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Add Your Comments:



Ha! He couldn't really say anything to please both of them, could he. A seasonal write that brought a smile.

Tue, November 6th, 2018 8:53pm


Thanks. --- A smile is worth a thousand frowns, sometimes with words, sometimes with clowns, --- and sometimes just because..

Thu, November 8th, 2018 9:14am

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