Re-Hashed Chuckles #1

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Humor  |  House: Booksie Classic

They say Lady-Justice is blind, but in this case, who knows what has happened to her.

(The setting for this story is pictured as a small courtroom within this city’s Courthouse. The prosecutor is questioning one of his witnesses.)


Mrs. Smith, did you speak with the defendant when he first entered the building?




And what did he say, exactly?


Well! He spoke very loudly and said that he wanted a table for four.

He explained, and these are his exact words, "The rest of my Homies aren't here yet."


So, Mrs. Smith, did you seat the man?


No, I told him he could set anywhere he liked.


So what happened next?


Well, he found a seat that he liked, after trying several, and he was quiet for a good length of time. But then he started making a fuss, you know, yelling and cursing.


On a scale of one to ten, ten being the loudest, how loud would you say he was yelling? Mrs. Smith.


Ah, I'd say ten for sure.


And what was he yelling about?


He was saying that we were being disrespectful to him.


Disrespectful, how so?


Because we had not sent a waitress to his table!


A waitress?




What did he want a waitress for?


He said, "I want a menu and a beer while I'm waiting for my friends".




Yes, Really.


And what did you tell him?


I told him that he was "In a Library", of course!


And what did he do then?


Well, he looked around the room for the longest time, and then offered a reply. And I have to say that he was extremely quiet with his reply, in fact, he whispered.


What did he whisper?


He whispered, “Bring me a menu and a Bud-Light?”


He said that?



And when I said NO he started cursing again and throwing chairs all around the room!  


Your Honor, I have no further questions at this time.




Defense, you may cross examine the witness.


Defense Attorney:

Mrs. Smith, were you out of Bud-Light, or was it that you just didn't want to serve a man with tattoos?



Objection, your honor! Defense is trying to confuse the witness by presenting her with un-answerable question choices.



Are you saying that neither one of those is a correct choice, Counselor?



Exactly, your honor!



Well then, it is nearly noon. Let's adjourn for lunch so the defense has time to make a more extensive list of possible choices. After all, the defendant was refused service.



D. Thurmond / JEF


Submitted: March 07, 2018

© Copyright 2021 D. Thurmond aka JEF. All rights reserved.

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