Santa's Intrusion

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Humor  |  House: Booksie Classic
Someone is in his condo, and it is not Santa.

Submitted: November 18, 2016

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Submitted: November 18, 2016



It was the first hour of morning,

On Christmas day,

When I heard bells jingle

Like those on a sleigh.

Then out on the balcony

I heard thrashing around

So I tip-toed through the condo;

You'll never guess what I found.

There was a big fat man

In a red jogging suite

Loading presents in sacks,

Making off with the loot.


So I asked him, "What Gives?"

He responded and said,

"I'm Santa you twit,

Now go back to bed!

"Well I started to comply

And then I thought,

"Santa leaves presents

But to take them, (NOT!).

This isn't Santa,

He not happy or jolly

He's an imposter, I'll bet,

I won't be fooled by his folly.


Then I laid out a plan

All made-up in my head,

I told him a story,

And this, I said,

"There's Brownies in the kitchen

On a solid silver tray

And there's Eggnog in the frig,

Just bought that today.

The Brownies are fresh,

I made them from scratch,

We ate about half

But there's some left from that batch."


Then off I did scurry

Into the kitchen,

To set-up the tray,

It really looked bitch-en.

I placed Brownies all round,

With cherries and fruit,

A tempting arrangement

For the guy with the loot.

And when he entered the kitchen,

I kept watch from the hall,

He ate all the brownies;

Fruit, cherries, and all.


My trap was successful,

Though the timing was tight,

In less that an hour

He was high as a kite!

Then the police, they arrived

And took HAPPY away,

In a cop car, lights flashing,

Not in a sleigh.

He was so mild and so mellow,

With Pot-laced good cheer,

Saying, "Merry Christmas to all

And to ALL a good Year!"



D. Thurmond / JEF  ---  11-18-2016

© Copyright 2019 D. Thurmond, aka, JEF. All rights reserved.

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