Growing Up together

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Young Adult  |  House: Booksie Classic
Its just an article I had wrote thinking to send it into a magizine about being a teen mother. nothing too special but it does help with explaning who I am and another style that I write.

Submitted: August 19, 2010

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Submitted: August 19, 2010

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Growing Up Together

By Belinda Jolley

March 20, 2010

I remember when my son was born, I was sixteen and in the hospital bed holding on to my husbands hand secretly blaming him for the pain I was induring. I was in labor for twelve hours before little Chaz came into this world we for now call home. I remember thinking about how tired I was and I remember the nurse trying to hand me my child and I saying "Give him to his father". I reget now not being the first one to hold him. I remember the post pardom I went through afterwards also, quite well actually. I remember the talk behind my back about how I wasnt a good mother and why I didn't want to hold my child was strange. I regret not getting help when I should of. I also remember that after the three month mark how I began to get better slowly.

It has now been two years and alot has changed. Although I still havent got my GED yet (dropped out when I found out I was pregnant), I'm eightteen now and finally legal. Chaz is two and me and my husband are hitting that three year mark of marriage. Im obliviously not your normal eightteen year old, most would be out clubbing and partying and Im at home cleaning my house-or atempting to and trying to be a good mother, in my eyes atleast. I stay at home and care for Chaz and the house and Jeremy goes to work. Plus even if I did want to go somewhere its too bad, I never got around to getting my drivers lincense.

Every morning starts the same, Jeremy is out the door and gone to work before Chaz and I wake up. Im not saying that he leaves out that early-8:15am at the latest. Chaz and I get up and I change his diaper. He still isnt potty trained which is blamed on my parenting ofcourse, "You dont work with him like you should" I hear from my mother in law everytime she sees me change his diaper. I have to remind her "He just crys when I sit him on the potty, I think I tried to start him on it to early"-which I wouldn't of tried to do if people didn't push me, he just wasn't ready at 18months. We watch a tv show on tnt every morning, I'd probably hear from others that he was too young to watch. Then we snack on some unhealthy breakfast like cold pizza from the night before or a banana covered in honey for some extra sweetness.

Chaz would ask for (sponge)"bob" and I would put a dvd in that Ive seen a hundred and fifty times. I would go and do a load of clothes. Im not really the kind of woman-,I guess I should say girl, that really cares about keeping a nice and proper house. My mother in law nags at me constantly about the way I keep my house and myself for that matter. She says "Jeremy would be in a much happier mood if he came in and the house was clean and there was a hot supper waiting for him on the stove", Which is true I mean, wouldn't any man be happy if he had a stepford wife? Im just not cut out for the gliz and the glam of a home-maker which everyone is desprately trying to turn me into, and I secretly want to be.

You see, Im not a very good cook, and it isn't because I cant cook, its because I dont like to. I moved to the south when we got married, we are talking southern women that know they're way around the kitchen, Im definatly what you call the black sheep, of my husbands family atleast. My family are full of people like me. Slackers as most call them. We dont like to clean, or cook or be all civilized. We like football and fast food, we're loud and blunt-maybe just rude. So when my husband married me he started a war. Poor thing didnt know what he was getting himself into.

After the load of clothes that I took out of the dryer and put on my bed but didn't fold I go and talk on the phone to my friends that I miss and the drama that I crave. We talk about what is going on in thier lives and what other people we know are up to. They get my advice on why their relationship isn't working and what motherhood is like. They hear Chaz in the background and talk about how big he sounds and how cute he says his words. We talk about what I'll be doing over the weekend and what they are doing too. They tell me about things, things that I would be doing if I didn't choose this route with my life. I don't reget making the choices that I did, I feel like I fast forward time for myself. I have always done that though. I never made time to be the age that I was. I was always skipping ahead like in a book, I had to know what happens next. Alot of these country women come up and ask me if Im babysitting Chaz or if he is my little brother, and I dont know who is more embarrassed the women or me when I say he is my son. They say "Oh, well you look so young to have a son." And I always say back "I am young, Im only eightteen, But Jeremy Chaz and I are just growing up together." Sometimes they ask "didn't you have things you wanted to do before you had a baby or dreams you had?" I always say back "Yes I did, and I still have dreams, just different ones now, ones that include Chaz or for Chaz." Jeremy being twenty-one now is definatly different than others his age, instead of him going out and partying with buds, hes either at work or at home with us. He is a man of loyalty and trust, and most people cant find that in a man of their 30s, Im lucky to have such an old soul in him.

After talking on the phone for a few hours and making my rounds to friends and family I fix lunch which is usually a grilled cheese and tomato soup-my favorite. Chaz will either eat a hotdog, chicken nuggets or fish sticks, whatever I feel like taking time to fix, they are just about all the boy will eat. We sit at the table for lunch, I usually drink a coke and he drinks on apple juice or milk. I get a call from his father with a reminder to have the house clean today, which I usually dissappoint him. Its hard to do everything that I need to and take care of Chaz who just hit his twos in febuary. I know I can and Jeremy knows I can, I just dont like to. I have a list of things I need to do that I write down each morning preparing myself to get it done but throughout the day i always find things Id rather be doing. Being here all day with it doesn't help, my eyes can see over things after a while. Im making excuses for laziness I know, but I cant be Martha Stewart instantly.

Around 3 o'clock I start on the dishes from the night before and the floor that I cant remember on last day I swept or mopped them. I listen to my ipod so I don't think about how boring or life-sucking this or that chore Im doing is. It isn't that I don't like a clean house, which I do. I just don't see the reason to put extra work into it when there isn't a reason. Yay, I have a clean house that I worked on for hours and then I sit watch tv? It doesn't make since to me. I clean when we are going to have company. Co-workers of Jeremys think I'm a great wife, unless Jeremy has told them otherwise. I have the house clean and I always fix a nice supper and send them home with goodies or leftovers.

Around five thirty you can hear Jeremy's truck roaring around the bend of the road and into the drive-way. He says hello to me and plays with Chaz. He usually looks for himself some supper, I always say that their isn't anything to fix, and there isn't that I know of. Jeremy is the kind of person that can throw stuff in a pot and it taste good. I can't do that, Ive tried believe me. My husband is a man of many talents and cooking is one of them. So he fixes supper and we eat and talk about the day, Ofcouse he tells me "I see you didn't get the house clean" but thats usually the last of it. He knows not to have high expectations for me and that way I won't let him down. It is sad that I'm not in the lime light of my husband's eyes like he is mine but, I'll get there.

Im only eightteen still and I think being a housemaker with come to me when I get older, or atleast thats what I hope. I think about the person that I want to be and I hope I can become her when I "grow up". Im a kid trying to fill the shoes of her husbands mom, an endless battle of all women that married a momma's boy. Jeremy is used to having a overly clean house and supper on the stove. He is used to being cared for when sick and his favorite shirt always clean. I hope Im getting there, that way Chaz will be proud of me, because everything I do I do for him. We are growing up together, but he's looking up to me.


© Copyright 2018 BelindaJolley. All rights reserved.

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