HOME AGAIN.

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Flash Fiction  |  House: Booksie Classic
A woman returns home from an asylum.

Submitted: August 15, 2009

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Submitted: August 15, 2009

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They have brought you back home from the asylum and settled you in your room and left for other things to do and probably talk about you out of your range of hearing and sight and you feel they took their time getting you released after so long and only after your many pleas over such a time did it finally happen and the walls with its sadly unhinged and mad and totally insane eventually had to let you go and the nurses who at times seemed more insane and crazy than the crazies and loons seemed some how disappointed that you were no longer one of their flock and only one of them said goodbye and hope you stay well and waved to you at the gate as you left in your brother Bradley’car and you looking back waving your white handkerchief with a sense of utter relief that you actually got out of those gates and that no one will ever take you back not men in white coats or the police or your father with his grim warnings as he went with you that night and handed you over to the nurses and left you behind not looking back at you his hands thrust into his raincoat pockets and you screaming at him like some banshee until they carted you off to a room by yourself for the night and locked you in but now as you walk across the floor of your bedroom in their house you notice everything is as it was even the curtains with the flowers which if you stare at them for longer enough seem to turn into faces of children and then back to flowers again and the matching lampshade beside your bed and the bedcover pulled back revealing clean sheets and pillowcases and there on your pillow Taggy your Teddy bear still waiting still faithful still lying there with his dark button eyes and sewn on smile and as you pick him up and hold him to you you remember that night he was wrenched from you by your father as your mother tried to hold you away from it and the doctor with his large brown eyes like those of a cow stood by pronouncing words which were unintelligible to you and somewhere behind you your sister Rachel was crying and calling out to leave Ruth alone don’t take her away but they did they bundled you off and out of the house that dark night with a full moon stuck in the sky and a few sprinkled stars staring down at you as they must have stared down at the all those who have been carted away to asylums or prisons or concentration camps or to war and certain death and as you walk with Taggy to the window and stare down at the garden where you use to walk and play with Rachel and Bradley and sometimes with your mother holding her hand listening to her talks of theatres and stages and plays and her part in this production and that one and how she could have been one of the best had things been different had your father not been so critical and all you children coming as you did one behind the other and then poor baby Victoria dying and the awful funeral and as you gaze down into the garden now you notice the swing in the oak tree is still there moving slightly in the breeze the ropes and wooden seat still as they were and you can almost see you father pushing you back and forth faster and faster until you thought you would reach the clouds and be able to put your fingers through the sky and how you use to laugh and your father saying how high Ruth how high shall you go? But you are not there now swinging high or low you are standing by the window with Taggy looking down feeling depressed yet at the same time happy to be back home happy to be out of that madhouse that asylum your father plunged you in all those years ago and never visited never came on visiting days only your mother came with her red eyes and small white handkerchief which was always damp with her tears and sometimes Rachel came or Bradley with tales of adventures or who had come and gone of the servants and how Molly had fallen over and broken her hip and not return again to cook but now the house is silent and your father dead and buried somewhere and your mother whom you have not seen in years sits in her room Bradley told you unable to talk to walk since her stroke a few years back and maybe he had said you can see her after dinner if you want to but it won’t be the same Rachel said nothing is the same anymore the servants have all gone except Squires who still potters around the garden on the odd day and you see him now walking slowly by the roses with a hoe in his hand his hair grey his bones thin and his face turning up to your window still rugged as that of an old seaman and he looks up at you and nods and raises a hand and then is gone as is your youth and your innocence and your adolescent years and the memory of Bates and his hands and what he did and no one believing you no one thinking that he could do such a thing and that it was you and your odd ways and your over imaginative mind that had made it all up and after one thing and another your father and his doctor friend had you locked away out of his sight and out of his life and the lies he thought you told no longer within his hearing range and Bates with his dark deeds managed to worm his way into the house until Bradley saw him interfering with Rachel in the summerhouse and that was that and your father had to accept that his best friend his fellow officer was a molester and even then he let you remain in the asylum without remorse without even a release date despite Bradley’s pleas and your mother’s moans and groans and holding Taggy against your breast you kiss his torn ear and close your eyes and let the ghostly laughter of your lost childhood ring in your ears.


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