It's hard to be me

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Memoir  |  House: Booksie Classic
The way others see me

Submitted: July 19, 2014

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Submitted: July 19, 2014

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If it wasn’t for those who take their time to knock on my bedroom door, I’d say I’m the loneliest person I know…Sometimes by choice…Other times, it just happens…See, people annoy me…A lot…I have a very difficult time keeping people in my life because any phrase, action, or whatever, can easily turn me off about anyone…And others make me nervous…For example, if you’re good looking in my eyes, I’d have a harder time interacting with you than if you weren’t…I don’t know…I just get intimidated…And it’s the same with those that have outgoing personalities…It’s too overwhelming to me…Intimidating…But, when you’ve become a candidate to be in my life, then I study you…Everything you say…Everything you do becomes part of my thought process…Things I think about when I lay down at nights and even during the day when I’ve got nothing but thinking on my schedule…The problem is, I think too much…I over analyze everything and anything…The way you say things…The way you do things…And if I don’t like either or neither, then I distance myself…And what I’ve come to find, is, that I’m sensitive…I get offended easily, therefore deliberate opinions and criticism, I won’t tolerate…I’ve gotten better over the years…Just say or do something I’m fond of and I’ll like you again…It’s stupid, really…But that’s who I am…So, that’s why I’m so alone…I close myself in, you see…Because I’m too difficult…Too complex…And yet, very simple…But people are in a hurry nowadays…They don’t take their time to listen to your words in order to understand why you are the way you are…Why things are how they are…They don’t get it…Because they won’t give you the chance to explain it…And then when I get the chance, very few times do my words come across clearly…People end up more confused than they were before…And this time, they stay away for good…Others just don’t get it…Even after I’ve explained…After I’ve opened up my heart for them to clearly see all of me…They don’t get it…Or they don’t want to get it…It’s really not that difficult…They could even relate, if they really tried…But, I don’t know…I’m too weird, I guess…Too different…I scare them away…With my choices…My choice of language…My choice of clothing…My choice of actions…It’s too weird


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