My Fellow Fantasy Partner

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Memoir  |  House: Booksie Classic
All about dreams and fantasies

Submitted: July 19, 2014

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Submitted: July 19, 2014

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I dreamt of him again…That guy I fantasize about day and night…Literally…The dude I want, but can’t have…It was a nice dream…I finally got to kiss him…Our lips barely touched, but it was amazing…Afterwards, he held on to me…He held me in his arms real tight…He didn’t want me to go…But I knew it was wrong…The kiss…How we felt for each other…I felt guilty…Yet, no matter how hard I tried to escape, his arms simply gripped tighter and tighter…Without thinking about it…He was holding on to what he’d been wanting for so long…Letting me go wasn’t an option…But it was just a dream…Just a silly little dream…And that makes me mad…Because at the moment, my dreams are better than my real life…And I hate that…I wish so bad that it wasn’t so, but there’s nothing I can do to make things better…Why are things like this?...Why do we love to not be loved back?...Why do we fall for the wrong people or make decisions that will forever jeopardize your happiness with that person…They can’t ever be yours now…It’s too late…Therefore, I choose to live on dreams and fantasies…I can’t stop…He’s what I want…And no one can’t tell me to stop dreaming…Because I don’t control my dreams…They just happen…And I love that…Because when I least expect it one night, there he is, in my dreams…The only place where we can be together…And at least he wants me there…In my dreams, I’m acknowledged…I’m the center of attention and he spends every single bit of it on me…I take the spotlight…We take the spotlight…Him and I…And it’s marvelous…Wonderful…Until, it fades…The dream fades…It’s like it never happened…The feelings are still there…But he faded…In real life he’s only someone I know…Someone that thinks of me only never…Whose heart is taken and very well occupied…And I’m only someone he knows…From a distance…And I have to live with that…I have to accept that he’ll never be mine…That my dreams are only that, dreams…And that someday he’ll marry…Have kids…Maybe he’ll move away…Maybe he won’t…Who knows?...Yet, somewhere in me, I still hope, you know…I still believe that all isn’t lost…Ridiculous, right?...How foolish can I be?...How naïve…But, I like my hopes…My dreams and wishes are what make me want to keep living, you see…Because, I’ve seen things…I’ve experienced the surreal enough to keep dreaming…To keep fantasizing…Because I don’t believe that anything is simply black or white…I believe that gray exists…Somewhere in life, in moments you’d never expect, you can experience gray…Your dreams could come true…Your fantasizes can become reality…And you’ll stand there thinking back to how impossible you thought it’d be for them to come true…I’ve seen it before…That’s why I believe it…And I’m not saying things will turn out exactly how you expect them to…I’m just saying that it could happen that maybe, just maybe, your dreams could come true


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