The rain beat against the tin roof of an abandon warehouse in downtown Knoxville. Through the only window on the building, located above the steel doubles doors, could be seen the light from inside. It had been raining for some time now and puddles were beginning to collect in the parking lot scattered with pot holes. In the parking lot were two lonely cars. One was a rusty moving truck with a picture of a dinosaur standing valiantly in a faded jungle on the side. And the other was a four door Cadillac. It was unbelievably shiny and the rain just seemed to roll off it. There wasn’t one speck of mud dotting it’s rims or body.
In the front seat sat a very ugly large man. His nose scrunched to his face and his chin folded down into a triple maybe quadruple chin. His hands were cupped behind the back of his head, which was tipped up towards the roof. He was breathing steadily and heavily and then surprisingly he moaned, and up popped a blond woman, from the area of his gentiles.
She was a very fake blonde, and mascara all but obscured her eyes. The ugly man reached down and zipped pants, then reached into his pocket handed the very fake woman a hundred dollar bill. She stuffed it into her bra. Straightened her hair then proceeded to climb out of the car. The man watched her strut through the puddled parking lot. She soon disappeared into the darkness beyond it. The man sighed laid back his chair and began to snore as soon as his head hit the head rest. Sadly that moment of ecstasy where he ejaculated into the talented mouth of that expensive hooker, would be the last moment of joy he knew. He didn’t know it yet, but he was going to die a pretty brutal death in t-minus two paragraphs or so.
Inside that not so abandoned warehouse were six men huddled around a small wooden table. At the heads of the table were two men. Both were very large and wore second hand pinstripe suits. One had a beard and long hair and the other was completely clean shaven and bald. The bald one had two leather suit cases, one in each hand. And the man with the beard began to speak “So Ignacio do we have a deal” His voice was extremely husky and traveled very well through the almost empty warehouse.
“250,000 kilos of coke, for the 1.3 million in both these suitcases?” He rubbed his clean shaven chin. Then smiled and extended his hand across the table offering a handshake. The bearded man took his hand and they shared a very strong manly handshake. The three men tall hooded men on the left of the table walked over and grabbed the suitcases from Ignacio, them accompanied by the bearded man began to walk towards the steel double doors. Then the worst thing imaginable for 8 criminals trading drugs and money in an abandoned warehouse happened. The lights went out.
“What the…” began the bearded man but then his voice was replaced by the thumping of his head his head then his body falling to the floor. Shots rang out and they illuminated the dark . But each shot was followed by the death grunt of the man who had fired, not the sound of it hitting a fleshy body. Seconds after the lights had went off in the warehouse they went back on. And only one man was standing in that now bright not so abandoned warehouse. Sadly for Ignacio it was him, and damn was he trembling like a small child waiting in line at the bathroom. Around him laid each of his 4 henchmen in pools of their own blood. It was actually an extremely gruesome sight. Heads lying separated from bodies. One henchman had a lead pipe about 1 inch in diameter stabbed through his chest right about where his heart should. “Who are you!” screamed Ignacio in fear. The figure standing in the doorway just laughed a deep hearty laugh. He stood there with his hands on his hips, just laughing. “Why are you laughing?” screamed Ignacio “Are you crazy?” The man stopped laughing abruptly at this comment.
“Am I crazy?” he asked advancing towards Ignacio. Ignacio back away as the man walked closer. Just to clear up and doubts anyone had Ignacio is going to die don’t worry. This man doesn’t happen to be a very forgiving character. “Am I crazy?” said the man again this time louder. Then he stopped advancing and threw his hands up “You guys just don’t get it. I’m not the crazy one! You are! Look at what you’re doing! Does this seem okay to you? Does this seem like something you dreamed about doing when you were a kid?” As he said this he motioned to all the dead bodies lying at the door and around the table. And then he began to laugh again “Of course this seems okay to you, you know why? Because you’re a fucking crazy man Ignacio, you’re insane. Sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but what you’re doing isn’t okay. You can’t sell drugs to people. That happens to be against the law. And that’s why I’m here; I’m here to stop crazy people like you that think it’s okay to just break the law at their own will.” He started to advance again; Ignacio was against the back wall of the ware house now. He tried to push farther not realizing that there was a wall in his way. The man stopped by the four dead bodies at the table. “I’m here to take freaks like you off the streets” he said taping on the dead men with his foot.
“Are you some special cop, arrest me, I’ll plead guilty, I’ll do my time, just don’t kill me.” Ignacio fell to his knees. “I don’t want to die, I don’t want to die, and I don’t want to die” he began to mutter.
“Ignacio do you see hand cuffs on me, did you hear my car pull up. No you didn’t did you? You know why because I don’t have one Ignacio. I didn’t come here to arrest you. And Ignacio I’m not some special cop. I’m worse, I’m a superhero.” This caused Ignacio to stop in the middle of his muttering.
“What the hell?”
“I’m a super hero Ignacio. Isn’t that kind of self-explanatory, you know, like Superman, Batman, and Spiderman? Do any of those ring a bell” he waved his hands as if urging Ignacio to remember these super heroes.
“Your fucking crazy!” yelled Ignacio. The man grabbed the lead pipe from the chest of the dead man on the floor. He cleaned it off on the man’s jacket, and then began to advance at Ignacio against the back wall. He held the pipe in one hand and tapped the other end against the palm of his opposite hand.
“I told you once, and I’m not going to tell you again. I’m not crazy Ignacio” He said somberly, by now he was standing before Ignacio, who was still on his knees, muttering for his life. “You’re the crazy one!” yelled the man swinging the lead pipe down, landing a direct hit on his temple, and sending his spirit to a place other than earth.
That rainy, thundering day, was the day Knoxville met a man known as The Crusader. That was the day Knoxville got itself its first superhero.
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