My husband killed himself
She just came out with it
I felt slapped in the face by the world
I loved her ten minutes previous
She had won me over with that ‘we’re definitely on’ look
The look all drunks pine for
I knew horribly that we were passed that now
I realized who I’d ever so quickly become...
I was the confidant
I was the listener
The gay friend
We’d never met before
But I felt she was genuine in the way she was talking
A drunken sincerity only rivalled by h*rny old men on the squirt
Who tell you of their apartment and Viagra habits
From sexy to helpless in a second she went
And it wasn’t just me who noticed it
The other’s scattered slowly but surely
Heartless cowards edging away to their comfortable conversation
Leaving me to take the brunt
But why was I still here?
I could’ve left hours ago
I had a bottle or two of wine already stashed
But there I stood in the room, the confidant
She outpoured her mind
She unpoured her will
And her lust
I was no part of any of these
Not blameless or dire
I was that guy
That DESPERATE guy
I needed whoever’s life story it was
For half an hour I was hooked in her life
‘I would help her!’ I thought
Sort all this mess
Become the hero; keep the kids in her care, save the house all the things the good guy does
But then she looked at me... but differently
This time it wasn’t filled with lust, gratefulness, hope and pain
This look was satisfaction
A look to suggest my thought’s had been irrational
A look I knew only too well
She knew that from here on in
She had me under her control
That extra hour changed my life
From a relatively free spirit to a butler
I was out of my league
Playing the big time as they say
She was entirely inaccessible
Entirely easy but relentlessly controlling
I loved her only before this happened
Were getting married soon...
© Copyright 2016 Damon Standish. All rights reserved.
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