Paramore Series: When You Let Your Heart Decode

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Romance  |  House: Booksie Classic
The final chapter of the series.

Going to your best friend's wedding wasn't an easy decision for Summer. Besides the fact that she had nothing to wear, she was still deeply in love with Troy. She couldn't help but smile every time his face would pop in her mind.

But he was getting married...she couldn't change that. He was getting married to her arch enemy and a person she'd be glad to damn to hell, Mary. But even if she hated her guts, she accepted the fact that he loved Mary and she had to love him back.

And knowing Summer, she'd ask nothing in return but the love of her life's happiness.

Submitted: July 24, 2010

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Submitted: July 24, 2010

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Paramore Series

What You Get When You Let Your Heart Decode

"Umm, Summer?" I heard Anna mumble from the other side of the door. I was writing an article for this new magazine I interned in. Apparently, they would be the next big thing and they were desperate for a love guru, so i couldn't say 'no'. This month's article was about Loving Your Best Friend. Ironic, I know. But somehow that struck the writer's mind and I was assigned to make an essay about it.

"Yes?"I mumbled, biting the pencil as my heart clenched at the title. There was no answer from Anna and I groaned. Must I do everything myself?

I sighed as I turned the doorknob and Anna's eyes were widened and glued to this cream colored envelope. I tilted my head to the side in confusion and took a good look at it. My name was scribbled at the back in some fancy lettering. The envelope was bordered with patterned lace that made it look like it was heaven sent. As if it was an invitation...

No it couldn't be...

"Is that what I think it is?" I whimpered, feeling my irregular heartbeat and my breath hitching. Anna's eyes finally left the paper and stared blankly at me. She nodded quietly before slowly handing me the envelope. No, no, no. I just stared at her hand for a moment before finally taking it in my hands.

"If you need me, I'll be out here." She stammered before turning quickly and running downstairs. I barely heard her as I shut the door and leaned on it. It's really happening, isn't it? My hands were absolutely shaking as I took the letter out from the envelope.

When you find that perfect someone who would make you believe in love, tell them and never let them go.

Dear Guest,

You are cordially invited to the Auburn and Dallas' wedding. The couple would be honored to celebrate their special day with you. Knowing that, the product of their love is a room decorated in white, people and their fancy dress codes, and two people madly in love, makes them the two mose luckiest people on Earth.

I clenched the letter hard in her hands, a tear running down my cheek. I didn't want to go to his wedding...he knew I had feelings for him, so why would he invite me to the worst day of my life? I wiped the tear with the back of my hand and looked through the envelope. The details of the wedding were there, making it completely obvious that I had no excuse not to go. But one peice of paper caught my eye...

Summer,

I know this is hard for you but do come. You will always be my best friend...Mary is just my best girl. I need you to come because I saved you a spot on the toasting ceremony. You used to know me so well Summer and I want us to get to know each other again. I will always love you, Summer.

-Troy

Now the tears fell. I knew that he knew that I wouldn't want to come. And now he sent this stupid letter about me making a toast? What was I supposed to say? Was I to say that, "I don't want this couple to get married because I love the groom." It just made no sense.

How can I decide what's right when he is always clouding up my mind?

***

I tugged at the hem of my dress and sighed as I glanced at myself in the mirror. I looked decent for a heartbroken toast maker. I bought the dress of my dreams, telling myself that I'd feel more confident and the pain would disappear. But that idea was highly reversed at the moment. I felt very self conscious about how the dress fit. It showed too much. I relentlessly pulled down and pulled up different parts of the dress and tried to make it work.

And the pain, well, that never left.

I sat on the farthest pew from the altar. Just being in the same room gave me the shivers. I hadn't talked to Troy since I got the invitation...it was like I had no choice but to go. It was for him.

A few minutes later, he entered the chapel. He looked so handsome in his black tuxedo. I never thought a man could look that great in some black, tacky suit. But he did...he looked like something out of a bridal show. And his eyes met mine as he stood at the altar, looking as nervous as hell as he waited for his bride. He smiled nervously at me and looked back and forth from the door to the pastor.

I always thought it would be me...

A few minutes later the flower girls started dancing in. They were so beautiful in their tiny white, angelic dresses and their flower crown. I always thought of my wedding happening like this. Before I knew it, the Wedding March started playing.

Everyone stood from their seat to face the incoming bride. No doubt about it, Mary looked beautiful.But as everyone looked at her, I had my eyes on the groom. His shoulders had lowered at the sight of his bride. The way he smiled as she walked down the aisle was very different...it was full of love. And it hurt me that he never smiled like that for me.

The wedding came to the big closing. The pastor behind the bride and groom as they held hands, beaming at each other. Troy slowly removed her veil and her eyes fluttered to look at him. All I could do was watch...watch as the love of my lifeslipped away from me. He wasn't my best friend anymore...he was hers.And I had nohopes in seeing that happen...

I ran out of the church before anyone could speak. I just ran, not even caring where I was runninf off to. I just needed to get far away from them. I wanted to die in a hole and wait for someone to crush me to death. I wanted to jump off a cliff and not even hit the waters. That's how much I wanted the pain to go away.

I walked to the Brooklyn Bridge, clutching my coat that covered my dress. I took a look over it and gulped as I felt how cold the water would feel like if I jumped. My knees buckled and my legs became jelly as I slung my jacket over the edge of the bridge. I slowly took a step, foot by foot and stood on top of the rail. This was it. This was what would make the pain go away.

On my final moments, I breathed in the last breath I would ever breathe. The smell of the water and the breeze ran through my nose as I faked a smile at the sky. I dangled my left foot over the edge and hesitated for a bit...

"Well, this is what I get for letting my heart win." I mumbled before letting my foot go. The second I felt like I was falling, regret flooded through me. Regret that I didn't tell Troy that I loved him before I left the Earth. Regret that I should've said goodbye to my parents...and Anna. She was my best friend and I could only imagine what she would feel when she finds out.

I didn't feel the water crash through me. I opened my eyes and realized that the water below me was still in sight.I looked up and saw Troy's face...his expression was even more passionate than the way he looked an hour ago. His face showed concern, sadness, shock and more importantly...love. I didn't fall in the water but I fell into Troy's eyes. I loved him even more now as his hand gripped my wrist, tighter. He saved me...

"Summer, I love you."

And that was all it took for me to decode everything wrong in this world and realize...that everything was right.


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