I lost my friend to strippers

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Non-Fiction  |  House: Booksie Classic
This is a story about friends growing apart, the changes that happen and how everyone changes, this is about how i feel, losing one of my best friends to substances and others

Submitted: August 18, 2015

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Submitted: August 18, 2015

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I lost my friend to strippers

We were best friends since we were year 10 let’s call her Josie, spent every waking minute with each other, we had a fall out at one point but got over it and we stayed friends. I didn’t see much of her when I finished school, seeing as we were a year apart. But nearly two years later she come to live in the same city as me, I was very excited to have my best friend back again little did I know I was going to lose her and everything was going to change.

Now I must inform you of Josie she was very special and like many of my friends had a very stressful, traumatising childhood but hers was stranger and made it harder in her teenage years. Dealing with anxiety, depression, bullies you know all the fun things, and I was very close friend to her during most of these times. I thought she was much better in life even though her love life always ended up disastrous, I presumed she was just kissing her frogs and the prince would come soon. It didn’t take long to see she wanted attention from guys to make herself feel whole or loved, something she did not have enough of in her life.

I feel you know the back story that I can begin.

One of Josie’s emotionally abusive, manipulating ex’s Adam had been stalking and harassing Josie so she had been staying with me in the weekends (this was before she moved to the city), and we had been reconnecting like nothing had changed and it was amazing we had some parties and plenty of fun, kind of like the old times.  She had even been hanging out with a real nice guy, a friend of my partners things were steamy between them and things were looking good, but alas it was not meant to be, but that’s a story for another time.

One night I got invited to go out with Kayla (mutual friend) and Josie, I declined I had a date night with my partner. In the morning I found a text from an excited Josie saying she was asked to dance at the local strip club and would get paid. I instantly thought she was joking but she wasn’t, I think she invited to come and I wasn’t keen and didn’t. Despite the fact she made like $50 that night she loved it. It should not have been surprising she loved the attention and dancing dirty on of her favourite movies was Burlesque. Now I start to sound judgemental and so be it, Josie is (or should I was I have no idea) my best friend and like a sister so I feel I need to protect and felt that she was worth sooo much more than taking her clothes off for money, while pervy guys watched her, but she did not care about that and was happy, and making me feel uncomfortable (yes I know who cares about you, its your friend, just continue reading ….ok)

 Soon after this Josie moved to the city to live with one of our friends Kayla, I was trying to warn Josie that living with friends is dangerous, god the only reason me and my biological sister survived was due to us being family and there was plenty of fights, making it unpleasant at times… (tsk tsk getting off topic… I’m sorry). Anyway Josie being Josie did not listen to my polite warning the contract had already been signed so there was little that could be done about that. Kayla and Josie lived together for a couple of months. During this time Josie and Kayla were stripping, Josie was also working with elderly dementia patients, which was very stressful. Josie would come round mine to let it all out, turned out she was not thrilled about Kayla being the bossy mum which did not surprise me, but there was something more concerning happening, she was behind in rent a couple of weeks and the landlord was not impressed at all and would ring reminding her to pay. This aggravated Josie a lot and in all honesty there I had little sympathy we are all adults and need to pay our rent no exceptions, she did not understand that. Now my thoughts on this are she never looked after her money ever it may have to do with growing up with a wealthy family- well her dad, but she had been living with her mum for 4 years in NZ and had flatted by herself twice by herself before moving to the city and somehow she made it on her own, now what the hell had been happening I do not know… still.

Now I am going to speed the story up a little, does anyone oppose … no good. Josie got back with the ex-boyfriend Adam just in time for her birthday, she still liked him and he was a little charmer, I just wished she stayed away, she final got rid of him.. Thank god. One positive when they did rekindle the relationship she stopped stripping and was going to quit as were the other chicks Kayla, Zara, but not Heather, the other chick at the party.

More details are needed for the nest part of the story, a few members of Josie’s family were alcoholics, one was sober the other not so much. Josie had become more stressed when finding out her brother in Australia had been having a problem with drugs and was in rehab the next thing she knew he was in a car crash and practically paralysed. This was pretty bad timing and Kayla was there for Josie as was I. Josie had even signed up for a course at a polytech, so when she said she was going to visit her brother in Australia I told her she still had time to withdraw from the course and not need to pay but she was sure she wouldn’t need to and would be back in time for course. She was right but chose to not go meaning a loan and no qualification kind of sad but it happens to a lot of people. I reminded Josie when she was sad about not following her dreams to be a pilot that she was young and had plenty of time to follow them, being 19, but she was still down about it.

After visiting her brother in Aussie Josie moved out of Kayla’s pretty fast without little notice ( to live with Zara) and owed the flat a bit of money this caused a big rift between the two friends and I was getting involved silently by listening to Kayla talk about it, yes I said what Josie had said to me, after hearing how Josie was being really rude to Kayla like I could not believe. Kayla and I were the friends always there for Josie and she was isolating herself from us just because we told her how it was , not too sugar coated .For example Kayla would say that guy is trouble and he always was but Josie didn’t listen at all just hurting herself in the process more. And I would say things like you shouldn’t be drinking that much, her reply being ‘if it was anyone else Ellie you wouldn’t be saying this’. Seeing as Zara was with her I chose not to say anything just thinking to myself yes and Josie its because you use the alcohol to deal with these things and numb your pain and its not healthy and I am really worried about you. And because Josie told me one weekend Adam had luckily been stalking her and she was laying practically unconscious on the floor from drinking alcohol excessively by herself.

Now a few things have happened since, she took customers home with her other stripper mates and would end up sleeping and partying with them, while living with Kayla. One of the customers said ‘ we don’t even have to pay for it’ Kayla told me which kind of shows they are just using the girls but that was their choice. Now this isn’t cool especially on a week night when Kayla has class in the morning and Josie was just being rude about it.

 Another thing that happened is I have come to terms with Josie being a stripper, this occurred after watching a documentary on porn it made me realise that there is worse things she could be doing and I told her to be aware of the consequences and be safe.

Now the worse thing that happened to Josie was she tried to commit suicide, this scared me a lot and I broke down crying, I felt so sad that she did not come to me, when I have always said I would be there for her, I tried contacting her with little reply she is now friends with Heather and Zara now, which is saddening and she isn’t nice anymore, she is defensive when she doesn’t have to be and I feel like she wants sympathy I will talk to her if she did not stand me up (Waited outside starbucks for half hour turns out she was sleeping cos ya know 4pm is when people sleep after stripping that night). I have lost my friend to strippers and I don’t think I am getting her back, but from the sounds of things maybe just maybe she doesn’t want me back.

Josie is struggling to pay rent at the new flat and only spends time with Zara and Heather, I guess her other friends don’t matter… who knows.

In hindsight I should be glad my title is I lost my friend to strippers not I lost my friend to suicide, I hope she will be ok I love her, but she worries me a lot and doesn’t seem to be the same Josie and this change is bad in my opinion- which probably counts for nothing.


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