If you cry softly

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Young Adult  |  House: Booksie Classic
Melina is a fifteen year old girl who is shut out by her bestfriend. this short story from her point of view shows the many secrets she has kept. for the fact she was raped by her best friends boyfriend. but then she finds out shocking news. the ending that will shock all readers.

please enjoy! because i'm back!!

Submitted: December 30, 2009

A A A | A A A

Submitted: December 30, 2009



If you cry softly

-January 3 2003

I listened to the mindless chatter through out the classroom and couldn’t help but feel so isolated through it all. How could girls care so much about who is wearing raspberry pink or who dare have the nerve to wear black. I closed my eyes isolating myself even more as pictured myself far away from this stupid town, with its typical jocks are so loved and cheer leaders are just a little too preppy. I drew in a ragged breathe as I began to picture how I was just like these girls just a year ago. I couldn’t help but bring back all the memories from so long ago.

-September12 2002


I turned around looking for my best friend Lauren for I heard her scream my name. She came running to me and grabbed me in for a death grip hug. I smiled to myself happy at the fact I can walk into school doors and expect to see a friend. She swirled me around then stop too look at me.

“Wait turns around and model for me girl”

I turned around while rolling my eyes in a playful way.

“OMG you’re getting body you girl”

My face flushed as three guys turned around too look at me and smirked at my friend’s outburst. As we talked and shared our summer stories people passed by saying their hello’s and what’s ups and I couldn’t help but feel like I’m in the crowd, and loved by so many. Because I knew these people will be here with me always.

-January 3 2003

Yeah right everyone sure was there for me last year. I held back my tears for I haven’t cried in a long time and I sure wasn’t about to break that streak. The class began becoming louder and I couldn’t help but wonder why. But then I knew why I felt a big gooey ball hit my head and I knew that it was glue for we were in an art class. I touched my brown hair and couldn’t help but grow angry. I whipped around that made everyone flinch and stared down hard at the one who I knew did it. It was Lauren. She stared back down at me as I stood up and made my way towards the door. But I knew in her eyes she was scared because she never would have thought she would see the rage in me.

I walked down the long hallway hurriedly so the nurse can get a lot of this glue out of my hair. As you see Lauren and I aren’t friends anymore and that’s when it all started the rumors, and bumps in the hallways I couldn’t help but feel more alone as I kept replaying everything in my head. I walked into the nurse’s office and saw a sign on the door said that the nurse isn’t here today. Just great. I pulled out my black berry and called my mom.


“Mom can you pick me up from school right now”

“Why sweetie”

“Some one threw glue in my hair”

“What, oh my well I’m on my way ok sweet heart”

I hung up my phone and slid down the wall with my head between my knees as I controlled my breathing. I heard my name called on the intercom, I pulled myself up and walked towards the main office. When I walked in my mom rushed to me and saw the glue.

“Who did this”!

“I don’t know”

I didn’t want to tell her Lauren threw it. She still thinks Lauren and I are friends and I don’t want to tell her that we aren’t and haven’t been for a long time. She walked me out to her Mercedes and had me sit in the front seat as she drove to the salon. She rushed me through as a woman about my height literally pushes me down in the seat and tried to take care of my gluey mess of a hair. They ended up cutting my hair into a bob cut. They curled my long ends and made it so that it shaped my face. I looked into the mirror and for the first time in moths I actually smiled. My hair showed me the way I was a long time ago.

“Sweetie you look beautiful”!

My mother beamed at me. My mom was still trying to look for the old me. But the person that she knew months ago is gone and is never coming back. My mom drove me to the mall to get me some clothes since she’s been scrutinizing my outfits for the past few months. We walked into forever21 and it felt like my heart began to flutter from all the memories were charging through me. I shook them off and picked out various outfits. My mom was excited because she thought that it was a break through. I felt better; I think cutting my hair showed a side of me that I want to show for a very long time. I got out the car as we pulled up to our drive thru and looked across the street at the beautiful yellow house.

With white trimming around the roof and the lawn manicured perfectly. The roses assorted by colors varying from red to white and white to pink. Laurens mom was always color coordinated, and always took pride in how she looks. That’s how her and my mom even ended up meeting. I closed my eyes for that house held so many memories that it was crazy, our first kiss with our boyfriends, our first argument, and the same house where our friendship ended except it was in the backyard. I walked in side my two stories home and walked upstairs to my room and fell across my bed letting my dreams consume me.

----- Dream -------

“Hey Lauren”!

I said as I ran into her backyard. She was sitting on the ground her short hair blowing in the wind. I walked over and looked at her face and she was crying.

“What’s wrong Laurie bear”

I said while putting my arm around her shoulder. She snatched away and stared at me murderously.

“What’s wrong you ask I know about you sleeping with Steve”

I froze. I tried forgetting that night that happened only a week ago.

“Lauren let me explain h-he…”

“He what ? He told me how you came on to him I thought you were my best friend I thought I could trust you”!

“No let me explain Lauren he’s lying”!

“Oh he is really you know what I don’t believe you”

I couldn’t take it she was believing his two timing butt instead of me she knew he’s been cheating on her but I didn’t come on to him I wanted so badly to say. I wanted to tell her what he did and that I may be even pregnant because of what he did that night.

“Lauren no”


Tears began trailing down my face as I tried to grasp on what she said. She went inside her house leaving me there alone, all because her boyfriend raped me.

----- End of Dream-------

I woke up feeling the sweat all over my body as my body trembled from the dream. I haven’t had that dream in three months but this dream was the most vivid of that day. My heart was pounding so hard I thought it would leap out of my chest any minute. I closed my eyes trying to gather my thoughts as I admit what happened to me in my dream. I always blamed myself for that night, the pain, and the heart wrenching fight Lauren and I had but never had I used the word rape. I shook the thoughts out of my head and looked at my alarm clock. It was four a clock in the morning, I couldn’t go back to sleep so I decided to just get ready for the day. After I took my shower I began parting my hair so I could bump it and flat iron it. I decided to get creative and make little curls in parts here and there. The long ends of my hair were bumped so that it shaped my face like it did yesterday. I decided after eight months that I would use a little eye liner; I had also put on some light pink lip gloss and slipped on my new jeans that hung a little tight on my curves and pulled on my shirt that had a chain of hearts on it. I looked at myself in the mirror and smiled because for once I didn’t feel like I had to wear the new styles but I was rocking my own style. Even though deep down in my heart I was hurting so bad that it was like some one was stabbing me over and over and I had to stand there and take it. I walked out my door after my mom admired my new look and began walking the three blocks too school.

“My Melina don’t you look beautiful”

My next door neighbor Ms.Helen said. She was a sweet old lady and was well respected on our block. I smiled and thanked her and kept walking to school feeling my stomach beginning to create butterflies from the nervousness. What would everyone think of me, would they laugh, would they make fun of me, but then I thought why do all of a sudden I care now after all these months of torture from the summer up to school I never cared so why cared now. I began walking with confidence and pushed open the double doors. I walked down the hall to everyone smiling at me and admiring the fact I didn’t come to school in a horrible hair cut.

I walked up to my locker to see Lauren gawking at my appearance. Her eyes held envy and sadness. But it flickered away as quickly as it came and she stared at me. I looked away not letting my emotions getting in the way, even though I wanted so badly to be her friend again. I turned away after grabbing my Geometry book and began walking to the H-building. I heard whispers varying from “wow”, “ha I wonder if they took the glue out” to “she’s hot”. I closed my eyes not wanting to hear the remarks; I haven’t dated since that night and wasn’t planning too. I walked inside of my class and sat way in the back and took out my two composition books and began writing down the warm up to the math problem on the board.

“Don’t you look pretty?”

I looked up to see Haley smiling down at me.

“Umm thanks Haley”

I said not sure of how to continue our awkward conversation.

“So, Melina I was wondering if you would like to come over and chill with us since your back to yourself kind of and all”.

She says smiling sincerely at me. I pondered then looked up

“Sure thanks Haley”

“No problem Melina Bobina”

I laughed at that nick name and couldn’t help but feel a little better maybe it was good that I got glue in my hair. I looked down at my work and looked up to see Lauren staring at me in a way that made me shiver because her eyes conveyed a secret message towards my way saying I miss you. But then her eyes flickered to hate once more and she turned back around leaving me to feel my heart dump into the pit of my stomach once more.

I heard a faint knock at the door and like every student I was curious to who was at the door. My skin ran cold as all the color drained from my face as I looked to see Steve standing in the front of the class.

----Laurens Point of View --------

I stared at Melina with sadness for I missed her but still hated her. For sleeping with my boyfriend when she knew I really like him, and that’s what seemed to have broken my heart even more. She stared back as her bob cut shaped her pretty face. I understand why Steve chose her over me, I mean she’s beautiful. But something about her response that day puzzled me. When she said I didn’t understand. What couldn’t I have understood? I heard a knock at the door and looked up to see Steve. His pale green eyes searching the room as he stood in front of the class room it landed on Melina. I turned around and began to frown because Melina’s eyes didn’t show excitement but fear, the color around her cheeks drained and it was like she was frozen in a trance.

What was wrong with her? Why is she afraid of Steve? It made me wonder about all those months ago when she begged for me to understand, I couldn’t help but feel my heart fall down to the bottom pit of my stomach from the confusion and the sadness that showed on her beautiful face. She was my best friend why didn’t I let her explain? Was I that mad? I had to find out what was wrong with her and I won’t stop till I do.

Class ended and I went to go chase Melina down the hall as she rushed in the girl’s bathroom. I snuck through so she wouldn’t hear me and heard her throwing up in the toilets. I walked through and heard her coughing. I walked towards the stall where I saw her purple and black checkered Vans and rubbed her back into circles as all the food particles departed her body. The foul odor circling around our bodies in a mist leaving my stomach to wrench in pity for her after her body jerked once more she stopped and slid on the wall of the stall. I slid on the opposite wall and stared at her as her head was in between her knees. She looked up at me her eyes holding a secret that only I knew was hiding behind her skin.

“What happened between you and Steve”?

“Oh now you want to know, you didn’t listen before”!

I couldn’t help but feel a pang of guilt run through my body.

“I’m sorry; I should have let you explain I shouldn’t have said all that stuff”

“I needed you the most then, I needed to confide into you about everything, this secret burns a hole into my soul that I can’t let lift free do you know that”

“I would if you just tell me”

------- Summer of 2002 August 15 10:00 Friday night party-------

I was walking through the party in a daze as the beer consumed my body leaving me unbalanced and numb all over. I walked into an empty room and sat on the bed trying to see straight again, until a door opened and there was Steve standing there. He wasn’t drunk I could tell by his eyes, I been to many parties with him and Lauren to know when he had consumed just a little bit of alcohol. He smiled at me and walked towards me.

“Hey Melina”

He said while closing the door and locking it. At that time I didn’t pay attention to the locking of the door until he sat really close to me. I looked into his pale green eyes and saw that he wasn’t being his normal self. He stared at me then his eyes traveled down to my chest and that’s where I could hear my heart pounding. I felt my skin crawl as his lips grew into a smile. I scooted over but then he came closer. I stood up and looked down at him.

“Well I’m going to go”

He stood up and ran up behind me and placed his lips in the crook of my neck.

“Why so soon”

He whispered.

My heart pounded erotically from the fear, I tried to get out of his grip but he held on to my waist even tighter.

“Steve let go”

He laughs.

“I’m not playing Steve let go”!


Was all he said before he threw me in the bed, and jumped on top of me.


I stopped suddenly when his hand collided on to the top of my mouth. I was more afraid then ever when his pale green eyes turned into slits. I was begging and praying for someone to find me.

“Don’t say another word or I swear I will kill you, you got it”!

I shook my head up and down.

“Your Laurens boyfriend”!

“Ha-ha so I’m going to break up with her and make sure that I still get some from you”

“Please Steve don’t do this, I wont tell anyone please”!

All he did was chuckle and held on to my wrist above my head. I struggled as much as I could as his hands glided across my chest. The tears started streaming down but all he did was kiss every tear.

Then it was like I was watching over myself getting raped by my best friend’s boy friend. It was like I was an angel witnessing the terrible act and all I could do was watch. I couldn’t scream, I couldn’t even try to grab myself. All I could do was cry for the body that was getting abused and cry for the pain of the scar that will lye with in me for the rest of my life.

------------------ Flash Back Done--------------------

“He didn’t”

I exclaimed as she looked at me.

“But he did Lauren”

I couldn’t help but feel the tears fall down my face as I grasped on what Steve did to Melina. That explains everything. I was horrible to her all this time not knowing that my own best friend was raped and the horrible person that did this sickening act was my boyfriend at the time. I closed my eyes and brought her body into mine and hugged on to her. Trying to feel the gap in my heart because I missed her and after all this time she was fighting demons of her own and I was the one ridiculing her. I closed my eyes and kissed her hair and whispered that everything will be okay.

---- 1 week later doctor’s office Melina’s Point of View-------

I sat in the doctor’s office waiting for her to come in with my results. My mom sat in the opposite chair reading a magazine not knowing that I was raped. I let my head hang down as I fidgeted with my hands. First the gynecologist came in she was a short woman about 5’2 with long black hair and green emerald eyes. She stared at her clip board and looked at me with sadness in her eyes.

“Good morning Ms.Barnes”

The doctor greets my mom in a nice manner.

“Good morning doctor”


I looked up to her as she stared at me with her eyes glazing over.

“I have to ask you an important question. Were you raped”?

My mothers head popped up instantly as she stared at me. I stared down and looked up at the doctor.


I whispered it so low that I was surprised that she could have heard me.

“I asked this question because your hymen was torn and girls who usually have that were forced of entry so I ask this question how long ago were you raped”?

“9 months ago”

“Why didn’t you tell anyone sooner?”

She says while staring at me with such sadness that it hurt me to look into those green eyes.

“Because it was my fault”

My mother was frozen as she sat there murmuring with tears running down her face. The doctor touched my knee and had me look her into the eye.

“No matter what, it was never your fault”

She says sternly but then her eyes flickered to more sadness as she looked down at her clipboard.

“Melina I don’t know how to tell you this but you have H.I.V”

It felt like my whole world crumbled as the doctor said those words. My mothers sobbing became louder leaving me there to feel nothing but hate. I closed everyone else out as I thought sat there pondering, wondering, thinking, feeling as if it was more my fault than ever. I hung my head down in shame not listening to the doctors soothing words because nothing was going to cure this disease. My whole body ached leaving me exhausted to where I wanted to go home. My mother drove in silence with one hand resting on my knee. I stared out the window looking for hope hoping that this was all just a dream. But it wasn’t a dream, I Melina Barnes was diagnosed with H.I.V, and my rapist was the one who gave it to me.

------3 months later -----

Times have changed as Steve was trialed for rape. I still didn’t feel safe. Lauren came over everyday soothing me, begging for me to go to school but I couldn’t. I couldn’t face all those kids, the rumors, the whispers down the hall. I couldn’t face any of it. I felt even guiltier because I didn’t turn Steve in the first place. The room was pitch black as I lye across my bed bundled into a ball with my knees into my chest. I closed my eyes. After 8 months of no crying the tears streamed down my face for I was going to die of H.I.V all because of one night of hell. That was the night I cried softly through the deep hollow dark night leaving me there to swallow all the pain as they say not everyone deserves happiness and I for didn’t deserve it all I was left in this world was tears, unhappiness, and pain.

--------- Laurens Point of View 1 year later---------

I stood in the grassy area letting the tears stream down my face all because it was my fault that I didn’t see the pain in her eyes. I felt my whole body drop to the ground and started holding on to it for dear life. My body shook uncontrollably and I couldn’t help but feel my heart shatter more. She should have told me. But she didn’t now here I am at my best friend’s funeral for she had committed suicide. I hugged on to the tomb for dear life as my mother tried to pry me away from it. I screamed, kicked, and most of all I begged for some miracle to bring her back. But Melina Angel Barnes was dead and there was nothing for me to do but cry for her, and all the girls that were raped like her and who had horrible best friends like me to have not listen to there pleas. It’s my fault that she felt this unhappiness I should have listened instead I blamed her and wouldn’t let her explain. But as I stared at the tomb I saw the date she had died on was the same day she was raped. This was one of the most dreaded days that I will live for my best friend Melina was raped on this day and passed away and all I could do was cry in the night for her hoping she would hear me, hoping she would hug me and let me know that she’s happy and that everything is okay and always will be.

R.I.P Melina Angel Barnes

August 15 2004

We will remember this angel for all the joy she brought on to this earth

The lord will watch over here forever more

So don’t cry over the sadness

But let them be tears of joy for she is in heaven now

And we will always love her no matter what

Not a true story!

© Copyright 2018 dannyrules. All rights reserved.

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